No Strings Attached

Posted By Kathleen David on January 23, 2020

I have been assembling photos for Peter to put in his autobiography that will be published later this year. I have been going through a lot of images of Peter’s life, my life, and the girls’ lives.

I also found a bunch of photos of us at conventions with various people and it reminded me that we know a lot of people and a number of them are people that I admired as a youngster wondering what it would be like to be friends with them. I can say it is pretty dámņ cool.

My life has taken some strange turns along the way. Things I thought I would be doing when I was in high school are not what I am doing now.

It changed in college when Terry, a friend of mine, suggested I join Theatre Emory and its first production of Everyman. The director had this idea to sort of recreate the experience of a morality play where each scene would be in a different building and end in the theater. There were sections done at the Law School, the College, the Medical School and the Nursing school. I was stationed at the Nursing school on a light board. After that I wanted to do more which lead to my career as a stage manager and going to the Yale School of Drama, graduated 30 years this May. 

My love of comic books got me a job in a comic book shop where I met a lot of writers, artists, and editors. I have worked at a number of comic book shops which helped when theater work was scarce. This also gave me the skills for when I worked at a bookstore, which lead to working at Del Rey. A job that used both my bookstore skills and my stage management skills. I loved that job and was sad to be laid off due to the downturn in the economy after 9/11 but that allowed me to raise my daughter. I don’t think we would be as close if I was still working at Del Rey.

My path to where I am and who I am now was a twisty one with joy and disappointment along the way, but I would not trade it for anything.

I am grateful for my life.

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Posted By Kathleen David on January 22, 2020

I met Bobby at the Center for Puppetry Arts in the early 90s. There was something we recognized in each other that made us insta-friends. 

I lost track of him after I moved to New York but found him on Facebook where we caught up on each other’s lives. He had married his husband Graham by that point and I had married Peter and brought Caroline into the world.

Bobby was at his heart a passionate creative person. 

His work at the Center for Puppetry Arts was amazing. I loved the shows he created for both children and adults. He mentored a lot people at the Center. He was always helpful with ideas and willing to listen to ideas. Today Facebook is full of puppeteers he helped over the years singing his praises.

He was a body builder. He sculpted his body with iron and sweat. He was a trainer for a while. He was my go-to about weights and exercise. He had an intuition for what would work. On his birthday he would take a topless photo with his age to show where he was in his exercise journey. He said it kept him honest. 

He and Graham loved each other very much. It was obvious in every photo. They loved their dogs too. They were that cute couple that everyone knew were crazy in love with each other.

He lived and loved life. 

I will miss our conversation and smart-ášš remarks to each other. I will miss his advice on puppetry and exercise. I will miss his laugh which could fill a room.

Rest in Peace Bobby, know you were loved and appreciated by many.

My sympathies to his husband Graham, his family and friends.

This one hurts.

I am grateful I had Bobby in my life.

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Posted By Kathleen David on January 21, 2020

I have been looking for a way to organize what I need to do on my various projects. I have been looking at a lot of apps and paper ideas on how to track things.

I have looked at Bullet journal and Flow and half a dozen other methods of organizing projects.

There are some fundamentals that go through all these methods, but each has its system.

Caroline likes cosplanner for her costumes and projects and it works for her.

I have come to the conclusion that I do best with paper and pen rather than on the computer or in an app. 

A lot of what I work on I tend to keep in my head but that only works so far before there are problems. I still plan the project out in my head but I now write down the steps and check to see if I am ahead, behind or on time.

The advantage to that is I can see where I am underestimating the amount of time it takes to do a step in my process and where I got stuck. That helps me figure out the time needed next time to execute the idea. 

I have a new notebook that is laid out the way I need to keep track of various things. I can add or subtract as needed. This also allows me to make lists of materials needed that I take a photo of when I go shopping. I can also put photo reference in there. 

I do have a copy of Cosplanner, Flow, and Bullet Journal on my iPad. I use them on occasion but now want to figure out ways of using each one for when I don’t have paper and an idea strikes. 

I think part of this year will be moving from paper to app but if it doesn’t work, I always have a sheet of paper and a pen to write things down.

Having written down my next couple of projects and project ideas, I need to execute them in a timely fashion. 

And that is my current challenge to myself.

I am grateful for apps that help rather than the apps that distract.

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Posted By Kathleen David on January 20, 2020

Personally, I think calling it MLK day cheapens the whole idea.

Martin Luther King was a brilliant orator who believed that all are created equal. He spoke his passion and people listened. He was arrested for civil disobedience knowing that he could bring a spotlight onto the injustices that he and others suffered under. He knew he had a platform and he made sure he used it to the best of his ability.

Was he a saint? No, but who is? He was a man who made things better for everyone. Others have tried for years to discredit him but his legacy lives.

I really wonder what he would have done with social media as it is today.

Dr. King wanted for everyone to have the same basic human rights and be judged under the law the same. He didn’t want more rights for one group of people and less for others. He wanted the groups on the outside to have the same rights as the groups on the inside. 

That is something that often gets disconnected in the discussion or shouting match. No one for equal rights for all is trying to take way rights from another group. That is why it is called EQUAL rights and we still do not have that in this country. 

When I say Black Lives Matter and someone else comes back with well what about X lives do they matter? It is derailing the purpose of the phrase Black Lives Matter. This phrase came into being because young men of color were being killed for no apparent reason other than the cops felt threatened by them. In this day and age of cameras in our hands, we witnessed time after time of situations where the cops were in a very grey area to begin with then tried to justify what happened with fabricated evidence or changing the crime scene to fit their narrative. Understand that it was a very small percentage of cops in the great police force we have in this country but those cops tarnished the badge for everyone else. I support my local police force but I do not support behavior that impinges on another person’s rights. 

When I say I support LGBTQ rights, it does not mean I am trying to remove any rights from straight people. I want my friends to have the same rights I do as a married woman. I want them to have access to the healthcare they need without judgement or being treated like their problem is not physical but all in their head. I want them to have the same housing rights and job opportunities as the straight people. Again, we are taking equal not more for them and less for other.

When I support immigrants, I am asking that they be allowed under the law to become US citizens and all those children who were brought here as minors be allowed to walk the path to citizenship. Yes. I do believe that the dreamers should have a path to citizenship and the ability to prove that they do belong in the only country they have ever known. We are stopping some of our best and brightest students at the high school level when they could go on and do so many great things for our country. 

New York recently allowed people of dubious status to get driver licenses in the state of New York. I think that was a brilliant move for the very simple reason is that to get a driver’s license in New York you have to have proof of insurance which means there will be more insured drivers on the roads. It will allow people to open bank accounts because they have a license and pay day predatory loan sharks will have fewer customers. It will allow them to take a step out of the shadows. 

Equal pay for equal work is not saying that men should get paid less than women or take pay cuts so they are making the same as the women. This inequality gets worse for people of color and especially women of color many of who are the sole bread winners for their family. I have been on the short end of this stick more than once and have not liked it at all. Part of this comes from the idea that the men are making money to support their families and they are the only one doing it. That idea when out the window oh so many years ago. Women are now a big contributor to the household income rather than vacation or pin money. 

Everyone in this country deserves basic human rights. Everyone should be treated equally under the law. This does not mean that those who already have this privilege are having their rights diminished or taken away but that all are treated equal under the eyes of the law.

And that is what I think would make Dr. Martin Luther King Jr proudest of us as a nation. 

I am grateful for the move towards equal rights for all.

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Posted By Kathleen David on January 19, 2020

I discovered early in my computer programing class that programmers had a habit of putting at backdoor into the code they were writing so, if needed, they had a place to go back in and fix a problem without having to reconstruct the whole thing. 

These backdoors have been a problem over the years since they are exploited by hackers and the like once they are found. 

Microsoft has warned Windows 10 users of a rather wicked virus that could do all kinds of nasty things to their computers including holding it hostage until you pay the kidnappers to release your data. Apparently, there was a backdoor that was exploited and Microsoft had a patch that needs to be implemented right now. 

I consider ‘backdoors’ as a way to get around without any impediment. I have used my pull to get people in front of other people that could help them without going through the proper channels or hoops. Being married to the writer of stuff has made this even easier but I have been doing it practically all my life. 

Having an in can be incredibly helpful and incredibly frustrating at the same time. I can help people get further along. However, I can find myself being used or trying to be used by people who want my help but don’t give a thought about me personally. I do not like being used as a stepping stone. I learned early in my career about that and tend to protect myself from that sort of behavior. 

This came to mind when I was contacted by an individual recently that I knew in Atlanta fandom who wanted to know if I knew X which I do. They wanted me to get something to X. Now this individual would not give me the time of day back in the day. They talked crap about me behind my back. Their opinion of me was that I would be nothing but a fan and would always be just a fan never a SMOF (Secret Masters of Fandom) or a professional. That did hurt but they were entitled to their opinion. 

There is a phrase that you should always be nice to those you meet on the way up because they are the ones that will help when you are on the way down. 

There is another one that says the best revenge is the well lived life.

It is now years later and they come to me. They haven’t moved any further forward since I met them. I know they are still talking smack about people. I have no reason to help them so I do contact X and give them the situation and the request. X passed on the request and I gave the news to the individual and I got back through the grape vine they were not pleased with me. 

I did them a favor even though it rubbed me the wrong way. They just proved to me that they have not changed in 40 years. They have lost their backdoor with me. 

I try not to abuse my backdoor privileges with my friends because I appreciate the fact that I have them. 

I am grateful for backdoors in all their forms.

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