No Strings Attached

Posted By Kathleen David on January 28, 2020

There comes a point in every creative person’s life where it feels like the spark that drives their work becomes a dull ember. 

It can be for a million different reasons.

Re-sparking can be easy or hard depending on circumstance.

I had a creative drought or rather an execution drought after Peter’s stroke. I had ideas but I didn’t see the point. 

I am always full of ideas. That is something I never have to worry about.

Making the things in my head is where, at times, I have to really push hard to do or I will end up doing nothing. 

Peter is often asked what he does for writer’s block. He says, “I take a sack of bills due and put them next to me on the desk and start writing.” Writing is his job. There is no block. There may be shifting between projects to take the problem project on with fresh eyes after writing something else.

I don’t have to be in the mood to create. Give me a project and I get going on it. I don’t understand that concept of having to be in the right frame of mind. Getting started tends to snap me back to it. 

Are there projects that feel like I am pulling teeth? Oh, heck yeah. But once started I have to complete it. It feels wrong to leave it half done. Unless it is a total disaster then I walk away knowing that I tried my best. 

Skills work best if used. If one hasn’t done something in a while, it can take a bit to get back in the groove. Things that have been learned over time tend to snap back but the more one creates the easier it is because one can quickly get through the beginning steps to get to the fun part.

Someone asked me how many puppets I have built and I had to say that honestly I have lost count. I could probably figure who I have given puppets to but I would miss one or two. 

But in building all those puppets I have refined and improved my ability to build puppets. I can build things now that I could not thirty years ago. New materials have helped. Polar fleece is a godsend for making puppets. None of that matters if I cannot make a puppet in a timely fashion.

Mental health can play a role in creativity for the good or the bad. The trope of the trouble artist is still romanticized to this day. I know more than one creative person who feel that their problems are what they draw on for their creative mojo. I have seen people self-medicate with drink or drugs because they think that is the thing that helps them be creative. Some have figured out that is not so and others still wallow in their creative ‘pain’.

I think I have been actively creative since I realized how far down I was in the pit of despair and got some help. A number of friends have comments that I am acting more like myself these days rather than the ghost of myself that had been walking around. I have found the joy in what I do again. I hadn’t noticed it was missing until I discovered it again. 

I am grateful for the creative drive when it is in drive rather than in neutral.

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Posted By Kathleen David on January 27, 2020

Mindfulness (noun)- a mental state achieved by focusing one’s awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one’s feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations, used as a therapeutic technique.

It is funny when you find a word for something you have been doing most of your life. I called it being in the here and now and learned it from my study of Zen. It had helped me through some dark times in my life by allowing me to deal with what is in front of me rather than what has been and what it might be.

Kung Fu Panda had it right when Oogway said “You are too concerned with what was and what will be. There is a saying: Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called present.” There is a lot of spiritually in that film.

I learned the phrase ‘being in the moment’ in my first acting class in college. It is a technique to give your fellow actors the energy for the scene and act and react to lines you may have heard 1000 times or more. 

Something I had to think about when I first started is now second nature to me. I find my brain scattering and fragmenting going from past to present to future, so I slow down and take a couple of deep breaths and bring myself to the now. What must happen now? What can move to the next leaving the now? It’s a way to both clear my head and plan the next move.

Thinking about the now does not diminish either the past or the future but pulls both into sharp focus.

The curve balls that life throws at us, both the little and the big, make us change what we thought we were going to do. Like a traffic light is out so one has to go another route which might add time to the trip which has to be taken into account at the destination. A health or financial crises can throw one’s entire life into chaos and all plans are off the table until it is dealt with.

But pulling myself to my current time and place give me the anchor I need to work my way through whatever I am dealing with.

There are times that I give myself a block of time to do things. The gym is where I take off my watch and not worry how long it takes me to do anything. I start with point A and go to the end of my routine and that’s the amount of time I use. Shopping for groceries is another situation where it is not the amount of the time but what is on the list. No pressure to get things into the cart and out. I don’t overlook things on the list. 

Today I have a number of things that need to be done in a certain order. However, I forgot a component to the order, so I have reworked it in my head. I am at a doctor’s appointment and that is another open-ended time situation.

I am grateful for learning something before it had a name.

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Posted By Kathleen David on January 26, 2020

Facebook has a function that let’s one look back over the years to what one wrote on a particular day. I was looking at today’s and found that most years, seven out of ten, this day has been about taking care of snow fall and icy conditions. Today we have sunshine and a temperature of 39 degrees Fahrenheit. Not warm but warmer than usual for the time of year.

Today I trek to LaGuardia to pick up Peter. For those who don’t know, LaGuardia is a big construction mess with no parking and lots of ways to get lost quickly. The signage is there but if you are in the wrong lane then you are SOL. 

That takes care of this morning.

I am leaving what I am going to do for the afternoon rather loose because I have no idea when we will get back. 

The cats are not happy with me. We ran out of the wet food that I feed them in the morning. So I have been followed around and two of them herded me into the kitchen to look at an empty dish. I will rectify that this afternoon and they will be happy with me again.

I am grateful for happy cats.

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Posted By Kathleen David on January 25, 2020

Today is the Chinese Lunar New Year. The year of the metal rat which is the first sign in the Chinese Zodiac after cheating in a race. Rats are seen as a sign of wealth and surplus in Chinese culture. Right now if you have business in China, you are at a stand-still until the celebrations are over. Sort of like how publishing goes dark between Christmas and New Years.

I have always seen this day as a do-over if I have returned to bad habits after trying to turn things around. This year I have managed to keep most of the bad habits at bay. I am not perfect but I am getting more done. I give myself permission do look at what I have been doing and figure out how to make it work better.

Today Peter is in Kentucky. It is raining. Caroline and I have millions projects we want to work on. Caroline wants to work on a jacket for her cosplay. I want to play with clay and write.

But first apparently I need to clean my glasses. 

I am grateful for second chances.

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Posted By Kathleen David on January 24, 2020

Yesterday I went into the city and met up with some friends to catch up on life. These are people I would have never met if I had followed the path I thought I was going to follow after High School. It was nice to talk about all kinds of topics and I came back with some ideas for a couple of projects. Including an anthology idea that I really have taken a shine to.

It took me a bit to get my head working this morning. I got up late for me and found myself at loose ends. I managed to get back on track after about an hour of dithering and started my morning routine. 

But I did manage to do that and not drop what I am doing for me every morning. I take that as a sign that the meds are working and my focus is back to laser. 

Today Peter is off to the> Frankfort Comic Con in Kentucky https://www.frankfortcomiccon.com/Frankfort_Comic-Con/Welcome.htm which is a one day convention. He is looking forward meeting the fans there. He is leaving this evening from LaGuardia and returning Sunday.

Caroline and I going to create meep-morp (art in Steven Universe speak) this weekend. We both have projects we want to start and a couple that need finishing. It will be fun.

I hope to keep my morning routine going because it gives me a grounding point of the rest of the day.

I am grateful for good friends and conversation.

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