No Strings Attached

Posted By Kathleen David on September 17, 2016

Clever is not what my brain is doing this morning. It is being functional but that’s about it. So titles are not coming to mind nor is much else other than the plans for the day which will start with the gym and then some missing school supplies. This evening I will teach Caroline how I make my curried chicken.

My brain is going over what I can and cannot do at the gym. I am sorting out exercises and which my knee will allow me to do and which I should avoid. I am going through my gym bag and what needs to be packed in it. Caroline is doing the same.

The cats are playing kitty politics. Fig expressed her domination over Inky after a long slap fight. Inky is now sulking against my hip.

The weather is nice. Not too hot and with a light breeze that let’s one know that fall is around the corner.

So that’s our day. Probably with some crafty things being done in the middle.

Peter is at the Long Beach Comic Con today and tomorrow. He is taking the red-eye back so he will be home Monday.

His 60th birthday is Friday. We are going to the New York Ren Faire on Saturday to celebrate.

I am grateful for the ability to plan out the day.

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Posted By Kathleen David on September 16, 2016

This weekend is a Mommy/Daughter weekend. We have a number of things we want to do. Let’s see what we can get done. Peter is at the Long Beach Comic Con so if you are going, say Hi.

In a week Peter turns 60. Cards can be sent to

Box 951
Bayport NY 11705

I would appreciate if you would spread this around.

Now behind the cut something that has been bothering me a lot about public perception brought to us by Big Pharm.

I do love the Bobby McFerrin’s “Don’t Worry Be Happy”. Musically it is still a mood picker upper for me. Silly I know but I still listen to it to calm down on occasion. It does remind me that whatever has me in such a state is temporary.

Learning various coping methods to deal with depression has saved my life several times.

Probably one of the most profound things that I was told by a friend who has had to deal with the mental issues of her mother, brother, and other sister was that the opposite of a depressive episode is not total happiness but equilibrium.

I have been told by a number of people who have been diagnosed at bi-polar that the mania side of the coin doesn’t mean they are happy or connecting well to the world around them. Impulsive behavior happens. There is a sense of invulnerability. But that can quickly crash into the next depressive episode. Equilibrium is the best things for them so they can deal with the world without the highs and lows.

Recently I have noticed a number of commercials aimed at people who are already taking some form of medication for depression that honestly angry me for the message that they seem to be delivering.

It boils down to “if you are not happy all the time then you might want to add (insert drug name here) to your medication regiment”.

The one that really irks me has a women holding up a paddle with a smiley face drawn on it and she looks totally upset behind the paddle.

From my experience not being depressed does not equate to being happy. Not being depressed means that you can function in life. You can get up in the morning rather than spend an hour convincing yourself or guilt tripping yourself into getting up. You take care of things around the house. You can deal with those things that annoy you and not feel like the world is out to get you and this is another example of it.

After I got the proper medication I discovered that things that I thought were the end of the world didn’t even bother me anymore. It wasn’t that I didn’t get sad at times or mad about what was happening to me but I could cope better with life. I was happy that I could function again. I could get things done and not feel like the world was pressing me down and crushing me.

But always happy? Not happening nor should it.

Somewhere we have gotten this weird idea that if you are not happy all the time, then something is wrong with you. There are books on the subject with more being published every day. Advertising promises you happiness if you purchase what they are selling. Ads tell us if we are not happy then there must be something wrong with us.

Now there is evidence that trying to be happy all the time can lead to depression.

I think we need to replace happy with equilibrium. The ability to just deal with the world is a wonderful thing. We need the happy with the sad or the anger or the fear.

Inside Out had it right and has helped a lot of children deal with both their positive and negative feelings in a healthy manner. Now we just need to get the same message to the adults.

Of course Big Pharm would like it to be in pill form so they can make more money off of our emotions. And that angers me.

I know there are people who need medication to deal with their screwy brain chemistry and they will be on it for the rest of their lives. They need the help to function in the world and there is nothing wrong or terrible about that. But there seem to be a stigma attached to taking drugs for mental health conditions that we really need to eliminate. Taking blood pressure medication or cholesterol control drugs is considered a good thing. So taking care of your mental health should be the same.

I will always be grateful for the medications I took at the time, which allowed me to get from day to day and see that life was worth living. I knew at the beginning that I would only be on the meds for a short time while my brain sorted itself out. Once sorted, I was taken off the drugs and discovered that I could function.

But we were not meant to be happy all the time. Life is a mix of good and bad and we need to react to each situation honestly rather than adding more medication to make us always feel a sensation that is suppose to be happiness.

I am grateful for coping skills that allow me to function.

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Posted By Kathleen David on September 15, 2016

Yesterday summer made another appearance. It was hot and sticky where you felt you needed to cut the air with a knife to get to the car. Then we had a magnificent thunderstorm with the torrential rain that cleanses everything. After that the temperature dropped about 18 degrees. This morning it is a pleasant 64 degrees with a light breeze. I can almost taste fall in the air with my tongue.

This morning my hands are cooperating after a rather bad bout of lack of grip strength the day before. Nothing broken just very frustrating.

Today I stock the larder for the weekend. Caroline and I are going to cook dinner together so she can learn how I make some of my dishes that she likes. My mother did the same with me. I just wished I had shown an interest earlier. I am proud I can make her hollandaise.

We also are going to work on sewing this weekend where she gets to see if the sewing machine is something she can operate. If she can, she has a leg up on driving.

I am grateful that my mother showed me how to cook.

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Posted By Kathleen David on September 14, 2016

Having been to a number of conventions this year I have been glad to note that most have at the front of the convention a large sign these days that spells out very carefully Cosplay is not Consent and what will happen to those people who cross the line within the confines of the convention.

Considering that two years ago was the first time I saw one of those at a convention in Europe, I do agree that we have come a long way.

Many conventions have also put inappropriate or unwelcome touching of anyone in their rules and badges have been yanked along with people shown the door of the convention space. However if they have a hotel room they can be in the public areas and no one can prevent that.

And no one should try unless it was an offence that one should be arrested for then call the police and have them prosecuted. People shouldn’t take it upon themselves to ‘take care’ of the problem because that is a slippery slope to assault and that person finding their own self in trouble with the law. And believe it or not that did happen this year at one of the conventions I was at.

I will say it is refreshing to see con committees really take a look at the people they have as their volunteer staff and finally getting rid of a couple of bad apples who thought their bad behavior was grandfathered in. One group discovered that they had two staff members that should not be there since they were registered sex offenders for unnatural acts with minor children. Those two were polite shown the door and informed that even if they bought a badge to the event, they were not going to get in because it was illegal for them to be there and would they like their parole officer to know that they had broken the terms of their release so blatantly? The individuals did do the smart things and stayed away but were upset that they got called on their bad behavior.

Restraining orders can be tricky. I know of one that was in effect at DragonCon and the parties involved had friends make sure that neither accidently crossed the other’s path. I’ll give them credit for finding a way for both of them to be at the convention. I feel sorry the gymnastics they had to do to keep the order in place but at least the offending party kept their word and avoided the other person.

And in certain quarters there are grumbling about conventions not being inclusive and that the fans have become the bullies that they use to be bullied by. Good old so and so has always acted like that and there is nothing behind it other than they are overly friendly. So why are they not allowed to spend time with their fandom family? Because we have stopped tolerating behaviors that are wrong both socially and morally. Things that we have let ‘slip’ we have decided as our fandom family has increased are no longer tolerated.

Fandom has changed radically in the past 40 years. Our means of communicating with each other has changed. Our convention make up has changed. I love that I see families together walking through conventions. That the female to male ratio has gone from women being exotic creatures to a normal part of various fandoms that were white male dominated back in the day.

Infinite Combinations Infinite Diversity is something that Star Trek touted as an ideal to strive for and we are heading there but with that comes some new problems and new issues that have to be addressed head on rather than keeping them in the dark or saying “well back in the day”. That was then and this is now.

Behavior I dealt with at conventions when I was 13 is not behavior I care to have Caroline deal with at all. I was lucky that a good group of people decided that these teenagers have as much right to come to a convention and be safe as they did. That group we called Uncle or Aunt even though they were no blood relations but they were part of our fandom family and made sure we were safe to be fans. Caroline still has this part of fandom in her life. She has people she called Uncle and she knows that they are no relationship to her other than their fandom family context. She has people she knows she can go to if she has a problem at a convention.

So fandom is improving over all. There are still pockets of resistance on some issues that eventually will fade away through time and space. But we can’t just sit back and rest on our laurels. We have to make sure that the better continues until problems are solved.

I am grateful to the fans over the years who looked out for me.

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Posted By Kathleen David on September 13, 2016

Another DragonCon has come and gone. I did sell a Phluzzie so that’s nice.

Now what?

I have an Aquaman puppet to finish for a very patience customer.

I actually have a costume idea for me for NYCC that will be easy to create once I find the ‘right’ fabric or figure out how to create the right fabric.

Caroline has a few ideas that she wants to create costumes for.

Halloween is on the horizon. I plan to participate in Drawlloween this year along with whatever else I am doing.

And Caroline and I are working on setting up our Etsy shop. Right now it just has a couple of Caroline’s paintings. DavidsPuppetsNStuff is open and I will be adding puppets for sale as well as dolls. I am thinking of creating photo prints of the puppets in action. Caroline is going to add dolls and stuff animals that she makes and she has lots of ideas.

Another thing I am looking at is creating dioramas or light boxes with science fiction & fantasy themes.

So this is my step in the right direction for selling things online.

I need to take some decent photos of some of my puppets and put them up for sale as well.

Baby steps.

I am grateful for my very creative daughter.

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