Crises in Mid-Life
Posted By Kathleen David on June 11, 2007
RRecently there have been a number of articles that I have seen about the term mid-life crisis. Some are articles about radical things people have done apparently in the throes of this malady, some are about the experience of having one, and a couple about how to deal with people who are having them.
The other day I found out from a good friend that someone I am what I call waving acquaintances with (that is when if you see the person at a distance, you smile and wave and talk tends to be about the friend that introduced you) is leaving his wife and dogs and moving to Ireland to find himself. Ireland? I asked. Apparently he feels a calling to move to Ireland and his wife really thinks it is not his best idea. The word mid-life crises came up in the conversation more than once. My friend thinks his friend has gone insane to leave a loving wife, dogs that he fed with an eye dropper when they were puppies, and a thriving business he worked so many years to make profitable which is now reaping rewards. I think his friend needs to slow down a bit and think about what he is doing but that’s me.
I thought about that conversation and for a time figured I hadn’t had one nor was I going to have one since I really like where I am in life right now. Then last night as I was drifting to sleep, which was hard since I am use to cuddling up with my husband who is in LA on business (think good thoughts for him please), it came to me. I had my mid-life crises when I was 34 or the closest I am going to get to having one. I made, what seemed to many, the lunatic move from Atlanta to New York. I left my support system and friends behind for the chance with a man that my friends knew but didn’t know well.
At the time there was not much going on for me in Atlanta other than my family and friends were there. My career as a stage manager was in stall. My main gig was pulled out from under me. The comic book shop would get you only so far. There had been a changing of the guard at the Center for Puppetry Arts in the museum so my gig there went away for some strange reasons according to those who stayed. My theater mentor/theater big brother died. My grandmother died. I had a big fight with some good friends over something stupid. My life was falling part around me.
So I moved to New York. I figured that it might give me a chance to get some perspective and then there was Peter who I was starting a new relationship with. We had a relationship for years but that was as no more than good friends who saw each other at conventions. This was different since I was going to become his girlfriend. You know the end of this tale. I married Peter. We had Caroline. I have never been happier. I think I was fortunate that this happened while I was not involved with anyone else and I really could just pick up and go. The only person I was really affecting was myself at the time.
I am grateful that I got my mid-life crises out of the way.
My mid-life crisis came about 10 years ago. So did Robin’s (he moved all the way from England to NY to marry me). So we’re both hoping we got all that out of the way. 🙂
I had my midlife crisis at 30. I had another baby at 32 (I forgot I liked sleep), and after 5 years of indecision, did the wildest thing I could thing of to declare my remnants of youth: I got my tattoo. It may not have been a reckless mid-life crisis, but I haven’t regretted it, either.
Mine did hit at midlife… 42 – when I decided I’d had enough of the alkie lifestyle and all its dysfunction… left just shy of Memorial Day… school ended a few days later… and I spent the summer in a haze… to this day, do not remember much of anything I did then. I was adrift… I felt like my life was over. I had my one shot at love and blew it… and was destined to be forever alone…but in the fall, with school starting up, I found an anchor to fill my days with routine again.
A few months later, I rewarded myself for my divorce by joining the local Star Trek club at the college… met lots of people, including the Captain, whose love I have had for the last 10 years…
Life moves in mysterious ways – and I thank the Lord that it does!