Yet another label…
Posted By Kathleen David on April 30, 2004
Isn’t it fun that humans seems to have this overwhelming urge to pigeonhole people? Now, it seems, if your social skills are not up to snuff, you might be suffering from Asperger’s Syndrome. Now it is probably true for some, but for a majority of the socially awkward, it will be another label attached to them and their behavior. I have encountered plenty of people that don
In my experience, many of the kids who are dyslexic are also of above average intelligence (a more than a few are brilliant). I don’t know if there is any link between the two or if that’s just the result of a small sample but there you are.
I completely agree that diagnoses of ADD or ADHD can go completely out of control (having taught in two high-powered private schools, I’ve seen several cases where I suspect kids are being overmedicated by hyper parents), but I also think Asperger’s is a very real thing.
Sure, a lot of people who seem socially awkward might be different someplace like a convention … but not all. I had an apartmentmate in college who was brilliant, but quite awkward — the sort of person who’d wait to laugh at a joke until he saw everyone else was doing so, and so forth. He had several moments which made everyone essentially say, “in what universe did you think that was remotely appropriate?” Ten years later when discussion of Asperger’s first started making the news, Lisa read the article and said, “check … check … check … hey, this is Mark!” It made an awful lot of things click into place for us.
I think over-labeling can be a bad thing, but in this particular case I think the label was probably quite helpful.
TWL
My cousin’s child was diagnosed with Aspergers and this syndrome is quite a bit more than a social problem. It is a form of autism. I agree with you on the ADD or ADHD point, though. I think we as a society are over medicating children and adults. I don’t remember anyone telling me I was guaranteed to be happy all the time, but people pop pills anymore for the slightest reasons. We have gone overboard in trying to ease lifes difficulties. Strength comes from dealing with adversity, not avoiding it in a drug induced haze. That said, I am completly supportive of those who need medication for real problems and chemical imbalances. I just think there are other ways to deal with mild ones than popping pills.
As an aspie myself, I can assure you that, when we’re with others who share our interests (and who are often also aspies), we can fit right in – because they’re not expecting us to respond to those silly nonverbal cues any more than we’re expecting you to!
That said, if anyone out there suspects your child may have one of the autism-spectrum disorders, find out as soon as possible. There are ways of dealing with education for these kids, without destroying who they are (hint: ABA is only appropriate for the most profoundly autistic children; for those who can contact objective reality, it borders on abuse). Remember, though, that the symptoms can be mimicked by many purely natural conditions, including simple naivete, certain allergies, and being a teenager (which can also produce behaviors that match drug-addiction checklists, without any drugs being involved…).
ADD/ADHD is perhaps the most overdiagnosed disorder in this country at the moment, so much so that some pediatricians are beginning to disbelieve in its very existence. Yes, there are some children who are legitimately hyperactive, and cannot pay attention to anything for prolonged periods; there are many, many others, however, who just can’t sit still for such lengthy periods as adults can. Some adults, unwilling to go to the trouble of helping children appropriately, will instead try to get them diagnosed as ADHD, hoping they can be drugged into submission. Ironically enough, however, the most effective medication for treating ADHD children is a powerful amphetamine (due to the paradoxical reaction typical to the syndrome). Giving Ritalin to a normal child will, oddly enough, produce a reaction that looks exactly like ADHD – and the lazy adult will feel justified in the quickie dismissal of normal childhood activity.
Not that I get at all incensed about this sort of thing, of course…
Our son was put into day care when he was 2 years old. After a few months the teachers sat my wife and I down to discuss with us the fear that Jack was likely autistic. Their reasons? He tends to play by himself. He doesn’t sit still for circle/story time. He avoids eye contact with the teachers when they try to talk to him.
We took him for tests. We went to 3 different places with various methodologies. The first doctor demonstrated how she could get Jack to make eye contact with her. Her diagnosis was that Jack was behind socially other kids his age, but he was quite intelligent, so he was just developing differently. The day care folks dismissed her out right, and so we went to another place. Here, the tests revealed that Jack was very high on the intelligence scale, but not that high (normal, but a bit behind average) on the social scale. Sounded familiar. Day care rejected their testing practices.
Third place was a children’s hospital. There, the doctor who met with us and spent an hour or so with Jack agreed with what we’d been previously told. We thanksed her and began to leave. Her boss quickly diverted us to another room where he began to lecture us on jack being behind socially and that “good news – we probably caught this in time – 2 or 3 appointments a week (at only $30 per visit) and we should be able to ‘fix’ him”.
Day care folks agreed with this doctor (the one who did not spend any time with Jack). We pulled Jack from that program. We decided that for schooling, we didn’t want Jack to get caught up in this kind of labelling, so we went for a Montessori program.
2 years later and jack is doing amazing academically. The small school has 2 classes – one for 3-5 year olds and another for 6-8 year olds. In typical Montessori fashion, the kids are allowed to go where they want to learn what they want. Again, we start hearing from the teacher that jack doesn’t like to sit still for story time, doesn’t socialize with the other kids, and tends to walk to the “other” classroom more frequently than he should.
Further investigation on our part and we discover some other things. Jack leaves story time, but only if they are re-reading a story he’s already heard. jack doesn’t socialize with the others, but since he was in a big minority – there are only 3 kids in the school that were not orthodox jews and the other 2 were all in the older class – this made the rest of his behavious make a lot more sense. And again, academically, there were no issues – he was ahead of his peers in reading, writing, math, etc.
So now, Jack is 6 and he’s doing really well. We have him in the best school program we could find – home schooling. Jack and his sister Anna are learning what life is about. Life tends to NOT be about sitting in a room for 6 to 8 hours slogging through books and tests. Life is about finding the things that make you happy, finding ways to earn money doing the things that make you happy. Life is about exploring and building.
Our son, who was labeled as “behind” socially may not have many friends. I can think of 3 or 4 off the top of my head. But they are his good friends and I can see how he cares and protects them. He’s sharp as anything. He’s nearly 7 years old now and he will do Word Finds and Crosswords (granted, I have to build them since he wants Yu-Go-Oh words to find).
It would have been too easy to allow “the system” to define my kid and for sure he would have been diagnosed with ADD, ADHD, Aspergers, or whatever the flavor of the month is. Not for me, thanks. Ain’t nothing wrong with him that love, patience, and understanding won’t “fix”.
Well let’s just say this ther’re a whole bunch of people out there who trip up on their spelling, are disorganised etc. but arent dyslexic. So it’s the same with Asperger’s. It’s not just “inability to read social cues/socially inept”, there are a whole lot of other developmental issues that come with the package that makes it not simply a personality trait. Asperger people show a certain pattern scatter on IQ tests.
There is no link between dyslexia or any other LD and IQ, but by definition the person would have to be of ave to above ave intelligence.
Sorry but as an AS person I know its not simply as simple as shyness or social anxiety, it doesnt help that people think dyslexia is the only true learning disability.
As far as I’m concerned, Aspergers is NOT a “disorder” at all. Come on, read the “requirements” for it and you’ll see how easily ANYONE can fit the diagnosis. Oh sure, I’m sure there are some people who have some sort of chemical imbalance in their heads, but not as many as they say, certainly not all these shy kids who have no real problems. What I see is a lot is this: Parents are told by others (schools, psychiatrists, etc.) that if their child isn’t pollyanna all the time then it’s something neurological. This leads to all these children being diagnosed with “disorders” and eventually being drugged up like animals. Parents, on the other hand, seem to, more often than not, applaud this diagnosis, simply because now they have the right to be “parents of a child with special needs” and, thus, allowing them to receive sympathy and special programs from others and the schools. That’s sick. Children should not have their childhoods wasted on Fluvoxamine and Ritalin all because of what some list of behaviors says. Hëll, no one cared about Aspergers 25 years ago (or even 20 years ago). Back then, children with this “mental illness” were just nerds who kept to themselves and that was that. What personality traits are they going to associate to a disorder next? Being easily frightened or saddened? Having a short temper? Being too perky or happy-go-lucky? Sheesh.
Not that I hate ALL psychologists/psychiatrists. I believe they, for the most part, are only doing their jobs to help others. It’s the ones who put a LABEL on people just because of their personalities that I don’t like.