No Strings Attached

Posted By Kathleen David on May 14, 2020

Thursday May 14, 2020 Day 60 of the Homebound Saga

Right now, we are both overwhelmed with information and frustrated by too little information. 

As to when the stay at home order will be lifted for our areas, it seems like Russian Roulette in more ways than one. That is still the unknown as we still do not have the testing in place to trace the path of the virus among other issues.

Then there is the information and misinformation that is just about everywhere and sorting it out can be mentally tiring. 

When I can’t even watch the late-night shows or the comedic takes on the news without feeling my stomach drop to my knees, I know it is time to take a step back to give myself some time to process things and calm down.

And I give myself permission to do so. 

Taking a break from the noise of the world is not a bad thing to do. It is not cowardly to take some time to recover from the trauma of what is going on around us. 

It is not selfish to practice a little self-care. 

There is a lot I am worried about that are consequences of the virus and the lock down and taking some time to sort through those feelings without adding more things to worry about is what I need to do for me.

My walks with Caroline are a must every day to get out of the house and spend some time in the sunshine. Those walks have become very important to me and to Caroline because it gives her time to talk to me about what is bothering her or something that she found funny or whatever comes to mind. I have been telling her about my time as a stage manager and the other jobs I worked over the years. The two things we don’t talk about is the virus or politics. This is an agreement between us that has worked well.

Typing an entry a day in my web log has also become important to me. It gives me a place to talk about whatever is on my mind. I try to help others through my writings, so they know they are not the only person who feels like this. I talk frankly about depression and mental health because I believe, strongly, that it needs to be talked about out in the open. It is not bad to talk about how you feel. And how you feel is valid. 

Working on various creative projects is an outlet for me. I am hoping to do more of those shortly. Writing is another thing that I am using to get my anger and frustration out. These works will probably never see the light of day but getting them out helps me.

My back deciding it hates me has not helped my mood. I do get frustrated that I cannot do more in a day on a regular day. When I can do little to nothing, my squirrel brain goes into overdrive bring up each and every failure it can come up with. The ‘you should be’ voice rings loud.  And when I cannot seem to find a way to relieve the pain and muscle stress, that voice gets even louder. I am not a good sick or injured person.

Today I have to venture out for my weekly visit to the grocery store to get us the things we need for the week. This will include a post office stop and CVS run with a possible hardware store stop. That will take most of my morning. This afternoon Caroline and I will walk and talk. I also have a copy edited manuscript to read over of my next short story. 

That’s my day. Hope yours goes well for you.

I am grateful that I can vent to my husband and he knows that is what I am doing.

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Posted By Kathleen David on May 13, 2020

Day 59 of the Homebound Saga 

I woke up at 5:47 am and thought about getting up because I felt awake. Then Phoebe curled up on me and the purring lulled me back to sleep until 9:47, which is late for me since I usual get up about 7.

This, of course, sets my schedule behind so now I have to figure how to catch up especial since tonight is Julius Cesar: Beware the Ides of March of the Penguins at 7ish and I have a few things I want to do beforehand. See yesterday’s entry for all the info.

I have to start with finally waking up since I have had my allotted coffee for the day and my head still feels muzzy. 

Then it is puppet repair and getting ready for the event including one other set of simple puppets and the rig for them for the show.

It is a creative day for me, so I am hoping that kicks in soon.

I am grateful for creative challenges.

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Posted By Kathleen David on May 12, 2020

Day 58 of the Homebound Saga aka May 12, 2020

This Wednesday at 7:00 pm I am making my debut as a member of the Social Distancing Players as we perform Julius Cesar: Beware the Ides of March of the Penguins.

Let’s take this back a bit as to how I got to joining the group.

A couple of years ago we went to the New York Renaissance up in Tuxedo New York. There was a playboard for Shakespeare approves in front of one of the venues. Among their offerings was Macbeth: Death by Fluffy Kittens which we all agreed we needed to see. Peter was in his Tim the Enchanter outfit and was picked to be one of the three witches in this very audience participatory romp through the Scottish Play. Afterwards we got to talking to Shakespeare and introduced ourselves. Shakespeare is a fan of the works of Peter David.

Flash forward to last September and we saw The Tempest: A three hour tour A three hour tour. Afterwards we caught up with Shakespeare and chatted about this, that and the other.

(For the VI: This is Shakespeare and my Aziraphale puppet. Shakespeare is on the left looking like a classic Shakespeare with a red shirt and a dark red and brown doublet with a pewter pin on his left lapel. He is pointing at Aziraphale who has blond hair, a cream colored coat, blue shirt, plaid bow tie, and light brown vest.)

Our next encounter was at Farpoint with Shakespeare in his civvies and we got to spend some time with him and his lovely wife getting to know each other outside the Ren Faire.

With COVID-19 and all the cancellations of so many events, Shakespeare decided to try something new to him and present his plays on-line for everyone’s amusement.

I got involved in the current production because I have puppets and we are using a puppet for Octavius. I am taking a puppet I used for another show and putting a toga and laurels on the puppet.

It is a rare chance to see me perform.

They are running an Indigogo campaign to play the players which can be found here

The production will be streaming on Facebook and you can find the information here.

It will also be on Youtube on Shakespeare approved channel. More information here

Come on by and have some silly fun watching Julius Cesar: Beware the Ides of March of the Penguins tomorrow.

I am grateful for opportunities like this.

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Posted By Kathleen David on May 11, 2020

May 11^th, 2020

The last two weeks have been a bit of a challenge as I had done something to my back and I was in agony. I dealt with it for a week before seeing a Doctor and becoming a data point of negative for COVID 19 in the area.

Last week was mostly pain and more pain. I hate with a passion pain sweats where one breaks out in a cold sweat because the pain is overwhelming. I had a lot of incidents of that. I was miserable.

I babied my back and tried to figure out what I could do to minimize movement that aggravated it. Sleeping was difficult because it was hard to find a position I could relax and go to sleep. Then, while sleeping, I would flip and that would wake me up then back to finding a position again.

I was a mess and had to keep telling myself I was not failing my family because I was injured.

Sunday morning, I woke up and I could get up rather than spend half an hour trying to get out of bed slowly. It was amazing. I still felt a twinge, but I could move again. I got a lot done finally. 

I felt like my brain came back online for the first time in a while. I was not focused on the pain and how to avoid it.

Pain can be very debilitating. It can be all consuming. It can hit a point where there is no pushing through or pushing through is just going to make things worse. 

Mentally pain can beat you down and make you question everything you ever did.

I am going to take a Mulligan on last week and get back to the projects I have to do.

I am grateful for manageable pain.

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Posted By Kathleen David on May 10, 2020

May 10, 2020 Day 56 of the Homebound Saga

Today is Mother’s Day here in in the United States. 

It will be a little different this year. 

The gathering of the family and taking Mom out for a meal is not happening in most of the country.

There will be various meetings online on various platforms. For those quarantined with their mothers, they can hug their moms.

Being a Mom is one of the toughest jobs on the planet. You have to raise a human being to be a productive member of society. You set the example of acceptable behavior. You create rules and boundaries that change over time as your child grows up. 

But it is also one of the most rewards jobs on Earth. You get to watch this small infant grow up, become their own person, and take their place in society. 

I am proud to be both a mother and a step-mother.

Today we have plans that will happen around the house. I have a video visit planned with my mother, father, and siblings later today. 

I am going to enjoy this day.

I am grateful that I am Caroline’s Mom.

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