No Strings Attached

Posted By Kathleen David on September 13, 2020

Did you know this is Grandparents Day?

The first Sunday after Labor Day has been designated Grandparents Day. It was signed into being in 1978 by Jimmy Carter and first celebrated in 1979.

This day is to educate the youth of our country about the importance of seniors and their contributions they have made throughout history.

I had a good relationship with my grandparents. I loved them all very dearly and they loved me. 

I learned a lot from them. 

My time on the farm with my material grandmother has given me a perspective that I would not have otherwise. I learned that you don’t name farm animals because they are farm animals and not pets. Deer are large pests. And there is nothing like a tomato right off the vine still warm from the sun.

My parents are awesome grandparents to their grandchildren. 

The college fund they set up after Caroline was born has taken a lot of pressure off of how we are going to pay for college. She is very grateful for it. That’s on my mind because she is in the middle of figuring out what is next for her. That and she just finished her third supplemental essay for the schools she is applying to. 

They are there for their grandchildren however they need to be. 

Caroline has a great relationship with them. She stays connected with them and keeps them up to date on what they are doing. My parents send her emails with things they think she would find interesting or useful.

I know they are proud of the achievements of their grandchildren.

They have three very smart and very creative granddaughters who work hard at school and I believe are going to do great with whatever they put their minds to.

My parents raised four children and provided for us so we would have a happy and safe childhood.

My mother taught nursing for over forty years and taught others how to teach. She overcame many obstacles to get where she is today. She got out of the small town she was born in to go on to earning a PhD and becoming well known in her field. She is a master gardener. She is a gourmet cook and anyone who have had the pleasure of getting Christmas cookies can attest to her abilities as a baker. She taught me how to use a sewing machine and how to sew. She is there for me and Caroline no matter what.

My father taught optics for over forty years. He is well known in his field. He made sure that I had a solid science and math background. He is also lover of words and word play. He does the New York Times crossword puzzle every day. He taught me about tools and tool safety. He is an artist. I still have the cloisonne pins he made for me. I loved the doodles he did on my camp letters. He is an excellent photographer and taught me a lot about photography. He is there for me and Caroline no matter what.

I have my love of the arts because of my parents. They took us to museums and galleries and taught us about various periods of art. I passed this onto Caroline because I think it is important to know about art. Caroline loves going to museums with her grandparents. I was introduced to theater by my parents along with ballet and classical music concerts. And again, I passed that onto Caroline.

They are part of the greatest generation and prove it every day.

I am grateful my parents are active in Caroline’s life.

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Posted By Kathleen David on September 12, 2020

Today is a bit busier than most days since March. 

I actually have to sort the schedule out so there are no conflicts between each.

Safety precautions will be taken. Honestly, they have become second nature.

I also have a few things around the house that need to be done before I venture out.

I will say that the weather is lovely this morning. The kind of morning that had the kiss of fall in it. The cats are loving the open window. 

I am taking a step back and sorting out what I want to do next. There are a couple of projects that I need to finish rather than the stop point I am at. There are a couple more that I need to start. And there are the household chores that need to be done.

I think I might be making some lists just to do a brain dump so I can look at it on paper. Then sort it out and put a timeline to it. The timeline idea came from a friend who understands my frustration with procrastination and situation.

I am interviewing for a seasonal position at Michaels Craft Store today. I think I have a shot at this but think good thoughts for me. 

I have been applying for jobs and been getting either silence or no thank you. Apparently, I am over-qualified. Which makes no sense because I want a job and I am applying because I know I can do the job. What else I can do should be a plus not a minus.

I did apply to be a poll worker in New York. I figure that is one way I can help the process.

First up today, cat boxes.

I am grateful for people who have hired me.

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Posted By Kathleen David on September 11, 2020

Nineteen years ago, I was working my dream job as an associate editor at Del Rey books. 

What happened that day eventually lost me my job there which, looking back, is a mixed bag for me. 

On the one side I am not working at a job I loved but on the other side is getting to watch my daughter grow up into a lovely young woman and all the other adventures we had because I was not tied to a job in the city.

This day is hard for me. I was in the city with no idea if I was going to be able to get home or what else might be coming. 

I heard the boom when the tower fell and saw the dust cloud roll up Broadway. I will never forget that. It chilled me to my core.

That day changed a lot for me. The aftermath did the same.

This year there is a contrast with the pandemic that has killed over 190,000 people just in America and over 910,000 have died worldwide. I think those numbers are undercounted.

I have been talking to some friends about this and we find ourselves thinking back to this day nineteen years ago and the AIDs crisis in the 80s where we lost friends and loved ones to HIV (human immunodeficient virus).

I thought that over the years this day would get easier but with all that is going on it is harder this year.

In some ways the world is experiencing what we had to deal with during the AIDs crises. Some of the old coping mechanisms came right back online. 

In other ways it is September 11 and the aftermath in that we have no idea what is going to happen next. The not knowing from 9/11 was much shorter than what we have now.

Today I am going to post this then take a break from the Internet today. I just need some time away from all the noise to allow myself to think and feel without outside input.

I will still be posting blogs but that may be about it for me and the world wide web.

I am grateful for everyone who helped each other nineteen years ago.

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Posted By Kathleen David on September 10, 2020

According to Wikipedia

World Suicide Prevention Day is an awareness day observed on 10 September every year, in order to provide worldwide commitment and action to prevent suicides, with various activities around the world since 2003

In the TV series Sherlock, Mycroft called John to keep an eye on Sherlock because it was a danger night. The implication is that Sherlock was going to use drugs, but I always thought that it meant that Sherlock was suicidal and would use the drug or reckless behavior to end his life. For me the word bored became a signal that he was thinking about ending it. That’s my theory.

After someone commits suicide, the people they leave behind are left with all kinds of questions and regrets.

A lot of it circles around ‘why didn’t I see it’.

I can tell you from experience that when I was feeling suicidal, I isolated myself.  That and my spending habits got really poor in terms of buying on credit. I figured if I was dead, I wouldn’t have to pay for it. Stupid I know but the brain does what the brain does.

Right now, with the isolation we have been living under, suicide numbers are up across the globe.

It is scary but you can help.

Check In with your friends and family. Especially those folks who are isolating alone. 

If you see changes in behavior like more risk taking than normal or using things to dull the senses to an extreme, talk to them about what they are feeling not what they are doing.

There is this weird idea that people who talk about ending their lives aren’t going to do it.  That is furthest from the truth. Someone says they are thinking about killing themselves need to be heard and helped. I know it can be tiresome because it seems like it is suicide baiting, but they do need to be encouraged to get some help. Yes, there is a small subsection of individuals who use the threat of suicide to control others. We call these people narcissists and they are another can of worms entirely.

The World Health Organization says, “Given the widespread stigma around suicide, most people who are contemplating suicide do not know who to speak to. Rather than encouraging suicidal behaviour, talking openly can give individual other options or the time to rethink his/her decision, thereby preventing suicide.”

Sometimes people just need to be heard and recognized. Other times they are seeking advice and help. It can be hard to recognize which they need but if you listen then the clues are usually there.

One thing we need to do worldwide is to remove the stigma of talking to each other about our mental health. It is why I started Mental Health Check In Monday. In hopes that my talking frankly about my mental health, it will encourage others to do the same. Is it scary to put myself out there? Yes, but if it even saves one life then it is worth it.

Please take care of yourselves. If you are feeling suicidal, there are resources to help you including text forms if you don’t want to talk to someone.

I am here and I am listening.

Suicide is a long term solution to a short term problem. 

We need to listen to people and check in to make sure they are doing OK.

We need to remove the stigma that exists which prevents people from seeking help because they have been told their entire life that if they do so they are weak or less. They just need to suck it up. This is very true in the communities with people of color. 

I think it stinks that white people have it easier to gain access to mental health help. They are more likely to be recommended to mental health services. Mental health is for everyone not just the chosen few.

Let’s check in with people today that we might not have in a while. Ask how they are doing and what they are doing. And listen to the answers they are giving.

I am grateful that I have access to mental health help.

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Posted By Kathleen David on September 9, 2020

Today is the beginning my fifty-seventh year on the planet.

It is also Caroline’s first day of her Senior year of High School and the first night of our bowling league the COVID-19 edition.

So busy day all around.

I have been writing a letter to myself every year for over thirty years. Ten years ago, I started posting what I felt comfortable posting from the letter here.

Dear Kathleen,

Well not the year you expected to live but it is the year that you lived.

I think I went back in time and told you all that had happened since your last birthday, you would have laughed at me for creating such a dystopian world.

It has been a year of learning about yourself and the world around you.

It has been a stressful year even before the pandemic.

And there is no end in sight which is very scary.

You did manage to get your creative beast moving again. You created a new puppet form that is getting a lot of positive reviews. You wrote. You were published. 

You kept exercise up even with everything shut down. Your walks with Caroline have become very important to you.

You have found ways to keep your head above water. It wasn’t easy but you did it.

And you should be proud of all you did do during the shutdown.

Now we step back and figure out what it next or what will be next.

There have been no conventions since February and no sign that we are going to be going back to them when they do start up.

But we survive and do what we can as we have always done.

Within the next year I want you to use your website to promote and sell your work.

I want to challenge you to create a couple of dolls and stuffed animals within the next year.

Keep exercising! It is working.

And remember to take some time for yourself. Even you need a break now and again.

Love

Kath

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