No Strings Attached

Posted By Kathleen David on February 1, 2016

February 1st sort of snuck up on me.

I did accomplish my goal of writing here once a day for a month. I got very sick and was out of commission for about a week and a half but I am feeling better now. I got some puppet stuff done but not as much as I would like. I got some writing done but not as much as I would like. I kept hearth and home in an order but not the order I wanted it to be.

This month I have a convention, Farpoint. Caroline has the Lego Robot League competition, which was moved due to snow. She has other activities as well including Girl Scout cookies. We have a couple of other activities planned that makes this month short and crowded.

So this week is going to be cleaning the house, building puppets, going to the gym, and writing. I plan to write down what I am doing so I can figure out what my time sinks are. I am starting with the cat boxes and moving down the list.

I know I have to pull myself up and out of the morass that I find my mind in. And sometimes it is a matter of putting myself in a different state of mind.

It’s a new month and I need to take it as such.

I am grateful for new beginnings.

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Posted By Kathleen David on January 31, 2016

There is a hullaballoo going on in certain circles about a Marvel CEO donating money to Trump. If you go look at the situation, he donated money for veterans through Trump who was doing a fundraiser for vets rather than participate in the FOX Republican free-for-all. If you are looking for fair and balanced, it wasn’t there. I think Stephen Colbert has done the best job with his Donald vs. Donald where his staff went through a lot of video to present a very tight and funny look at the contradictions that are Trump.

Frankly it is really none of our business what Purlmutter did with his money. This was not Marvel donating, this was a private citizen donating and nowhere has he given his personal endorsement to anyone.

And that is something that has bothered me about the Internet since I first got on it. This sense of entitlement that people have the right to know what is going on in the private lives of other people.

Not that it was much better before the Internet. The various new rags that told the scandals in Hollywood have been around since the creation of Hollywood. You can go to the National archives and read your way through various magazines that talk about the lives of stars and slightly famous people. The Internet is just making it faster. And the subjects of people’s interest are making it easier by tweeting or Instagramming or whatever social platforms they play on.

I have no right to know what someone’s sexual preference is nor what they like to do unless it is my partner. I frankly don’t care. But there is an obsession about what goes on in our bedrooms and boudoirs that goes to the point of mania. And the internet feeds on that speculating who is dating who. Who is going to break up with who. We don’t celebrate the relationships that go on for 20 or more years that end with one partner passing away. That’s not news worthy apparently. Raising kids is not exciting especially if you are not using them as window dressing.

I do know things about people that I will take to my grave. There are occasions that I could end an argument on the Internet with facts but since it was spoken to me in confidence, I keep my peace and let the Internet rage on. It is not my story to tell so I don’t. And that can get frustrating at times when I see friends being savaged on the Internet though they have done nothing to warrant it other than to be a slightly public figure.

Public people are allowed private lives.

There are those who live their lives in public but that was their choice. There are many that haven’t but find themselves in the spotlight because people are interested/obsessed with them.

We haven’t exactly lived in the shadows. Peter’s column and website talk about our lives. I am use to people remembering things that the read about us. Caroline is sort of resigned to the fact that she has lived parts of her life as a sentence or two in the front of various comic books. But we are comfortable with what we share and know that it is out there.

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Posted By Kathleen David on January 30, 2016

The word Zen has taken on so many meanings. There is the original, which is a Japanese school of Mahayana Buddhism emphasizing the value of meditation and intuition. There is the urban dictionary top definition which is One way to think of zen is this: a total state of focus that incorporates a total togetherness of body and mind. Zen is a way of being. It also is a state of mind. Zen involves dropping illusion and seeing things without distortion created by your own thoughts.

If you go on to the Internet, there are a lot of articles entitled “Zen and” that I blame Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance for the whole trend although it is really good book and probably how a majority of people in the United States look at Zen.

It has become a word that has taken on its own life that, considering the word, is not incongruous to the word itself.

It has been stated that anyone can do anything for twenty minutes. I have no idea why twenty minutes is the optimum time but it seems to be the gold standard for doing something. Apparently in some forms of Buddhism there is a practice where you are given a task to do and twenty minutes to do just that and nothing else. Once the bell is rung, you stop no matter where you are in the task and move onto your next assignment.

I have seen things like 20 minute work-outs, 20 minute organization, and many more.

That time frame works for me for the most part but not all the time. There are times that I get into a flow and keep going until the task is done. And other times I find myself clock watching and trying to keep myself doing what I set out to do.

We talk about achieving a Zen-like state where you are in the groove and move effortlessly through an activity. It is an interesting place to get to and I have felt that while working on art or writing or even cleaning. Mindful and unmindful at the same time. Doing rather than thinking. Or at least that is how I see it.

I have studied Zen Buddhism since I first found out about it back in my teen-age years. I find the practices very settling. I would say that I am a student and no more than that. I have found my way to cut through the noise and find the center. I still study it and other religions/beliefs of the world. Sort of a passion of mine that started with reading myths and legends and then reading where those myths came from.

I have found myself drifting from being mindful recently. Being sick actually reminded me of what I have been missing in being mindful. The chaos in my brain is reflected in my life where I cannot seem to pick something up and just do it. This is putting me in a worst state of mind as I have been beating myself up mentally that I am not dealing with things and it becomes a downward spiral towards depression and doesn’t help anyone.

I am back to thinking about Zen and reading more about it along with rereading things that have helped me in the past. I am trying to get back to the mindfulness that has helped me so many times in the past to get out of the spiral.

I know what I need to do, now I just need to do it. Rather Zen in that I think.

I am grateful for all that I have learned about Zen over the years.

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Posted By Kathleen David on January 29, 2016

Recently I have been seeing various articles on several subjects which made me thing about how the mind works and how my brain is not your brain nor is yours anyone else brain.

Everyone on the planet has something unique about how their mind works. What works like gangbusters for one person is a total waste of time for someone else.

I know I am smart, clever, and intelligent. I have been told numerous times by a variety of people. I have to thank my parents for both my genes and my upbringing for that one. I have been accused of being an intellectual snob and I wear that proudly. I refuse to dumb myself down for others. Keep up with me or don’t just don’t expect me to stop thinking like I do.

My methods of organization would not work for the majority of the people on the planet. But it doesn’t really matter because it works for me and my family. It worked for me as a stage manager and I learned how to write for others so they could follow my thought process. I once tried to sit down with a director and explain how I got from the problem to the solution and after about 20 minutes he agreed with me that I could do it but he was never really going to understand how I got the solution.

I have known for years that my brain goes in different directions than how most people see a problem or a situation. I am really good at research and retention of the research. I tried to explain to Peter how I found some info for him because he couldn’t believe I found exactly what he was looking for so fast, but he stopped me about half way through because I lost him in how I did it.

There are things I can do mentally that amaze people. I have impressed various people with some of my mental skills. I have impressed people with how fast I can read and that I retain what I have read for a very long time. Can I teach anyone any of this? No, I can’t. It is just how my brain works.

There was an article I read that take notes by hand works better than typing things up because the brain has to focus more on what is being said and pick and choose the choice words because putting everything down is impossible to do by hand. I have to agree with that. By hand does cause me to focus more on the task at hand and helps me sort out the steps I need to do to get the task done.

There was another article about the importance of cursive and learning to read music to develop a fully rounded brain. That cursive activates parts of the brain that printing doesn’t. Reading music causes you to use yet another part of your brain. I can write in cursive although I have never liked it. I can read music sort of. I am glad that Caroline can read music without any problem. Her cursive could use some work but they are not teaching cursive or good handwriting in school any more assuming the kids are always going to use computers. So we are losing something here with our kids. I am lucky that Caroline’s school has music and art through out the 12 years she will be there. I know a lot of parents who have spent quite a bit of money outside of school so their children can learn these skills.

It is becoming more and more apparent that writing is necessary to keep the brain elastic. As we find ourselves more and more on our computers and tablets communicating with each other, we are losing abilities that help our brains to think in different ways.

I have a lot of notebooks. I am a bit of an office supply junkie. I love the little notebooks and the graphic pads and other forms of paper. I love pens that write smoothly. I still have some of my automatic pencils and can find lead for them but that is getting harder to find. Sharpies, I adore sharpies. I like colored pencils.

I use these things to clear my mind by writing things down. Once I dump it out of my head, I swear it gets quieter in there and allows for other thoughts and ideas to come forward. I have one notebook that is my project notebook where I toss all the ideas I have for dolls and puppets and costumes and the like. I have one notebook that I keep a running tally of what I do with my time. I have a private journal for me which I will probably ask that it and its companions be burned after I pass. I have a convention notebook for convention stuff. I have a sketchbook that I scribble in and should do more in it. And there is always a blank book or two waiting to be turned into whatever I need them to be next.

And I have this web log. Maybe not done in any form of handwriting but it is my piece of the Internet with my thoughts and feelings and adventures. Down the road someone might be interested in what I had to say. I think it will be funny to be part of someone’s PHD down the road. My mind likes that thought.

I am grateful that my mind works as quickly as it does.

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Posted By Kathleen David on January 28, 2016

I was 22 and happened to be home that morning for the first time in a while. I put on the TV and saw that CNN was going to have the shuttle launch. I hadn’t seen one in a while and this was the first one that a civilian was going up on.

I still remember the count going after you could see that something didn’t look right. And there was the pause and then we were informed that there had been an explosion.

There are a lot of what if’s that go with this tragedy. Including what if they had left after the temperature was above freezing for a period of time like had been suggested more than once to them. There are people who still blame themselves for their actions or inactions that day.

It was a national tragedy and had long reaching impact on NASA that they still haven’t recovered from fully.

I watched the video for the first time in many years this morning. CNN put the video up on Youtube. I have put it behind the cut.

It still hurts to watch and I find myself sitting on the couch in my family’s TV room watching as this unfolded before me.

Since then I have met a lot of people who are working at NASA. I have had the good fortune to get the behind the scene tour at Houston more than once. They keep the Challenger in their minds and in their heart every day.

I am grateful for the safety measures that were put in place after this disaster.

(more…)

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