Posted By Kathleen David on July 3, 2016
I had a friend with all good intentions inform me that from a work stand point it would be good if I avoided mental health issues if I wanted a job in publishing again.
Do I want a job in publishing again? Yes. I loved my time at Del Rey and I was very good at my job and I have a list of happy authors, editors, and production departments that liked my work. I know the chances are slim to none because I am in my 50s and not some young individual who can be molded for the company. I’d love to work in editorial at a comic book company and would be really good at that too.
But I can no longer be silent about mental health.
Back in the day when I was young cancer was spoken of in whispers. No one wanted to admit that they had cancer. Most funeral notices gave the cause of death as something that happened because of cancer. Now you can talk about cancer and not have to worry that you are putting your job in jeopardy. There are cancer walks and fund raisers to fight cancer.
Addiction is another that has come a long way out of the shadows. The stigma of being an addict is not what it was but it is still there. But health plans are now covering the care of the person who is addicted and allows them to get the help that they need.
But mental health is just peeking out of the closet. We still talk in whispers about the effects of mental illness not only on the individual but the family as a whole. The stigma of being mental ill may be lessening but it is not gone. Now there are whole section of the Internet devoted to mental health and wellness. Not all are good methods.
At least when someone expresses that they are dealing with depression now more than half the time they don’t get told to cheer up. We understand that depression is not something you can get rid of with a smile or a laugh. Depressed people do smile and laugh but that doesn’t make them any less depressed. One laugh does not a happy person make.
Also we have, for the most part, come to the understanding that saying one is depressed is a blanket phrase for a lot of different kinds of depression. And how one processes it can be very different from person to person.
I talked about how depression manifested for me a while back and found out later that I helped some people realize that what they were feeling was depression rather than laziness or lack of effort on their part.
Right now I am stressed and tired for oh so many reasons. I know I am under this strain and am doing everything I can to counteract it. If one of the bigger stressor manages to go away, I think the rest will fall in place but I am not holding my breath.
Today I have 11 days to get things done on puppets before we leave for Shoreleave. Writing is going by the wayside to see what I can get done in that time. I need to get something done before my mind tears me apart with that little voice that tells me why should I even try because I will fail and why expose myself to that failure.
But I need to ignore that and move forward. I am dámņ good at what I do and I have to hold onto that just to keep going.
I am grateful for less stress in my life.
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