No Strings Attached

Posted By Kathleen David on December 6, 2018

I can tell by the time I feed the cats what kind of hand day I am going to have.

In the morning I give the cats their wet food for the day. The ritual starts at the top of the stairs as soon as I leave the bedroom. Inky is waiting for me and I must pet her before she goes bounding downstairs announcing to the other cats that I am on the way day.

I let Inky into the kitchen where I feed them first because the other two can bully her away from her portion. It is there that I find out how well my hands are working. If I can take the foil pouch, tear it open, and put the food on the plate, that’s a good hand day. If it takes me three times as long to do the same activity, then it is a bad hand day.

I try not to let that first activity I do influence the rest of my day but more to give me an idea of where I am at that point. If the hands are not cooperating, I give myself more time for certain activities and am more careful about picking up fragile objects like glass glasses and plates.

And it isn’t that things won’t flip at some point during the day. I have had bad mornings with excellent afternoons and the reverse.

My second cue as to what kind of hand day really has to do with how I feel. If I feel like I am vibrating from within, not a great day. If I feel more grounded, good day. I do have some warning when things change because I feel a hum through out. Kind of how fluorescent light ballast sounds when it starts to breakdown. (Sidenote: We watch the Good Doctor and I had to sympathize with the main character Sean Murphy in the last episode. He is autistic but within that comes his superpowers of being able to figure out what is going on with a patient. However he has problems with sensory input. He is in the ER and there is one fluorescent light that is humming and really bothering him. No one else can hear it at this point but he can and it is driving him nuts. I know that sound and it drives me to distraction too. I have a hard time being in a room with fluorescent lights that are humming. I tend to try to avoid them. So yes they can be THAT annoying.) The worse the hum, the more I am shaking.

I have been informed that if I reduce stress, it might help with the over all problem. Might help. I have been trying to do that and figuring out ways to recognize when I am getting stressed.

This morning was a good day. I was able to feed the cats with normal effort. Now they are sacked out on the couch taking a nap.

Since it started out well, it gives me what I need to do today which are things that I need a steady hand for. I use it when I have it.

Again this is a live annoying problem rather than a life threating problem. I deal with it and move on. And no matter how bad the day gets I can tell myself with confidence, I don’t have cancer.

I am grateful for the good hand days.

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Posted By Kathleen David on December 5, 2018

16 years ago Caroline came into this world and my life has never been the same.

I would not trade a minute of that time for anything.

I have watched my baby grown into a young lady with her own likes and dislikes.

She has her own fandoms and things that she loves. She loves anime. She attended her first anime convention this year and had a lot of fun. She met other people who loved what she loved and got to geek out with her fellow fans.

She has her own musical tastes but loves a lot of music I have shared with her over the years. We have a third generation Beatles fan here.

Her sense of style is rather distinctly her own. It shows in her artwork which she has been working very hard on. She is a doodler and a drawer who goes through about a sketchpad a month. She learned how to animate this past summer and has made some really clever short animation. She has a knack for it.

Dear Caroline,

Now you are old enough to learn how to drive and get a job and so many other things that are moving you to adulthood.

I know you go in with a level head and your eyes open. You are a very practical person who sorts out the good and the bad with each decision you make.

You excel in school and work very hard for your grades. You have a good study ethic that will become your work ethic down the road. I am very proud of all your effort to do you best even in adverse circumstances.

I enjoy watching you come into your own. You are honing your skills and abilities and now can do so much on your own. We will work on the sewing this next year.

Your creativity leaves me breathless. Your brain can create such stories and characters that I want to read and know better. You see the world through such an interesting lens.

I love you very much and look forward to what you will do in the next year.

Also your father and I have concluded that the tossing of nifflers will now be a birthday tradition.

love,
Your mamamamamamamamamamamamamama

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Posted By Kathleen David on December 4, 2018

Getting ready for 2019, which is in less than a month.

I’ve got a little list…I’ve got a little list

Or rather a big list of things I want to accomplish within the next year.

I am thinking of making next year a project a week year in which I would work on one or two creative projects and have them done by the end of the week.

It would be a challenge but I could get a heck of a lot done.

I have come to the conclusion that I need to think less and execute more.

I know what I am doing and I have to allow myself to try and succeed or fail.

This next year will also be a mix of dolls and puppets along with a couple of other ideas of things I want to bring to Art Shows and try to sell.

I have so many puppets already made that I could sell and I think I have a market for what I make. I just have to get my act together and find my customers.

Also next year I want to help Caroline get to the next level in her sewing skills. I think a skirt is next then a shirt to give her the basics for her cosplay ideas.

I am declaring 2019 the year of the creative lets see what I can get done.

I know what I want to get done by (February 8-10 2019).

I need to check into being in the Art Show there and just about any other convention I will be attending.

It’s time for me to put my work out there in ways I have not done before.

I am grateful for creative growth.

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Posted By Kathleen David on November 28, 2018

This year Peter and his team asked me to join them as one of their bowlers had to tap out due to health issues. It’s nice because it is another couple that we have known for years. We do OK and Caroline loves that she gets the house to herself for a couple of hours.

Next Wednesday is Caroline’s 16th birthday. It is one of those ages that make a parent stop and think a bit about the time that has gone. She will be two years from being an adult and five years from the drinking age. She is closer to going to college than entering kindergarten. A lot has happened in that time and I have many treasured memories from those years. I look forward to what she does next.

I am looking at apps that monitor how you are using your time during the day. I think it might be helpful to know what I am doing most when to see if it is something I can expand, reduce, or eliminate from my day. I need to be more efficient to get more done in the same amount of time.

I also want to put some ‘me time’ in there. Self-care is not selfish care. I need to recharge so I can take care of the other people in my life. Yes, I do have to remind myself of that. I am no good when I have no energy or drive.

The holidays come up really don’t help with stress. There are a lot of different things going on in December.

First up for me on December 1st is SqueeCon in New Haven where I am a guest of the convention. It is fandom from the female POV. Peter and Caroline are going to visit Peter’s sister and Caroline’s cousins.

And then we are off to the races until January 4th with various activities each weekend leading to Christmas and then New Years. Then I think Farpoint is our next convention.

I am grateful for things that make me happy.

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Posted By Kathleen David on November 27, 2018

There comes a point in one’s creative journey where one starts to think about where to go or what to do next to push their comfort zone further along.

We get comfortable in what we do and there is an impulse to rest on one’s laurels.

But, as an artist, I have to fight this urge.

Also I never think what I made is as good as I could make it. I see flaws that others never know about because they see the whole and I still see the pieces.

I am looking at selling the puppets I have already made and opening up making custom puppets for fans of their favorite characters. This includes a half-formed idea of making sets of hand puppets like a Supernatual set or a Once Upon a Time set but those would not be cheap. There is something there but not quite to the point of executing it.

Every year for New Years I talk about making a puppet site where people could order puppets or buy ready made puppets. I am trying to figure out where I could put such a site and get some traffic to it.

Etsy is out because of the shipping costs along with their new policies that would make me have to sell the puppets for about 20% more than I want to. Plus the signal to noise ratio there makes it hard for someone to get seen unless you pay for the privilege.

There are other sites that are trying to be the next Etsy but none seem to have the things I need for the selling of puppets.

So that seems to be my next scary step in my artistic journey.

That and continuing to make better and better puppets.

I know I have improved over the years. There are puppets I can do now that there was no way I could have done when I started.

Now I have to find ways to promote myself and my art. That is hard for me to do. I can and have promoted the heck out of other people’s projects but have a hard time doing the same for me. I guess I will have to get over that and just go for it because I love building puppets.

I am grateful for all the puppet opportunities I have had and will have.

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