No Strings Attached

Posted By Kathleen David on December 21, 2018

To my readers who celebrate the solstice, both winter and summer today, I wish you a blessed solstice.

Apparently we are going to have some cosmic fun over the next couple of days including a full moon which is called the Cold Moon in the northern hemisphere and a meteor shower as well.

Tomorrow we begin our travels south. 

Today is all about the packing.

I did get everything I wanted to do yesterday done which feels good. 

The cats do know that something is up and are sticking close to me. 

My mind is in the here and now as I try to make sure I have everything we need for travel. I am starting a bag of stuff for the car with things like the easy pass and the cords for the Garmin along with the Garmin. 

I figure if I pile up the things we need as I think of them, less chance of forgetting them.

Off to get ready.

Think good traffic thoughts for us tomorrow.

I am grateful for things that will allow me to have smooth travel.

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Posted By Kathleen David on December 17, 2018

This weekend and the end of last week was a busy one for me.

Thursday found us in the city where I went to see the Harry Potter exhibit at the New York Historical Society Museum. The exhibit was more about the books than the films or the play although they are mentioned. They have a number of JK Rowling’s original sketches for the characters and all kinds of fun interactive stuff to do along with a lot to read as you go along.

I attended the Magnolia Pictures Holiday Party and caught up with people I have met there over the years. It was fun.

Friday was a lot of travel for various reasons.

Saturday we saw Aquaman. Peter for the second time as he attended the LA premiere on Wednesday and Caroline and me for the first time. I enjoyed it and have to agree to the reviewer who said it was the best Marvel movie that DC has made to date. Caroline said afterwards, ‘No animals were harmed in the making of this film however we did go through twenty-three Jason Momoas.’ No it is not a perfect film but it is a good action flick with some incredible effects. You can tell there was more than one writer on this one.

Sunday I attended an Artist Brunch that some friends host. It is an interesting group of creative types and we help each other with brain storming on an idea or how/where to promote their work or whatever we end of talking about. I always learning something and walk away with a renewed creative spirit.

This week we have a few scheduled things but most of the week will involve getting ready for next week and the travel, which starts on Saturday.

It is nice having a pause before the run to the end of the year. In this pause is a lot of coordinating of things and making sure I can find things we have obtained over the year for people. I have found most of it.

I have a few things that MUST GET DONE before I get out of town. I guess I’ll start with those and then move onto the rest.

I am grateful for finding lost things.

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Posted By Kathleen David on December 15, 2018

We have a week before the travel weekend for those of us going elsewhere for Christmas and other holidays. There are a lot of holiday parties for various reasons that we find ourselves attending.

I want to talk about two things related to all this interaction with people.

The first came from a notification I got from the Girl Scouts about allowing one’s child to set limits as to how they express their appreciating and affection towards others.

From the Girl Scout newsletter and on their website

Reminder: She doesn’t owe anyone a hug. Not even on the Holidays

Holidays and family get-togethers are a time for yummy food, sweet traditions, funny stories, and lots and lots of love. But they could, without you even realizing it, also be a time when your daughter gets the wrong idea about consent and physical affection.

Have you ever insisted, “Uncle just got here—go give him a big hug!” or “Auntie gave you that nice toy, go give her a kiss,” when you were worried your child might not offer affection on her own? If yes, you might want to reconsider the urge to do that in the future.

Think of it this way, telling your child that she owes someone a hug either just because she hasn’t seen this person in a while or because they gave her a gift can set the stage for her questioning whether she “owes” another person any type of physical affection when they’ve bought her dinner or done something else seemingly nice for her later in life.

“The notion of consent may seem very grown-up and like something that doesn’t pertain to children,” says Girl Scouts’ developmental psychologist Dr. Andrea Bastiani Archibald, “but the lessons girls learn when they’re young about setting physical boundaries and expecting them to be respected last a lifetime, and can influence how she feels about herself and her body as she gets older. Plus, sadly, we know that some adults prey on children, and teaching your daughter about consent early on can help her understand her rights, know when lines are being crossed, and when to go to you for help.”

Give your girl the space to decide when and how she wants to show affection. Of course, many children may naturally want to hug and kiss family members, friends, and neighbors, and that’s lovely—but if your daughter is reticent, consider letting her choose what to do. Of course, this doesn’t give her license to be rude! There are many other ways to show appreciation, thankfulness, and love that don’t require physical contact. Saying how much she’s missed someone or thank you with a smile, a high-five, or even an air kiss are all ways she can express herself, and it’s important that she knows she gets to choose which feels most comfortable to her.

I am not a hugger unless I know the person I am hugging and I know that the hug will be accepted/appreciated. For the most part I let others initiate that sort of contact according to their comfort level. I am a big believer in personal space and I try not to invade that space allowing for each person to feel comfortable around me. For some that seems to make me a little stand-off-ish but that’s me.

I hadn’t though of the consent angle and how we can help girls feel that contact is their choice rather than a social construct that they have been taught to follow.

So I do accept hugs but would like others to initiate contact.

Not everyone in a family or extended family get along. I am one of the lucky ones that my family gets along with each other and I love both my blood relatives and my family by choice. And this is the time of year I am reminded how lucky I am.

There are people who have cut various relatives out of their lives for various reasons. There are other relatives, especially between Thanksgiving and New Years, trying to get everyone back together for family harmony. I have been reading on social media people struggling with this issue. My personal opinion, toxic people do not get the 100th chance to prove that they are not toxic. If you need to cut ties for your mental and physical well being, do it. I really dislike families that blackmail their relatives into joining a celebration that they do not feel part of for whatever reason.

Some people do not get along with their blood relatives for whatever reason and have assembled a family by choice. And that’s fine too.

We need to stop forcing people to ‘like’ each other. Because there are people that are just not going to get along no matter what. Détente may be reached but there are still landmines that everyone has to step over. Even within one’s friends group, not everyone is going to get along. I know I have friends that I never put together because I know it would be a bad idea for various reasons.

I want people to be comfortable around me. I let them give me an indication of what they are comfortable with. I hope I relate to others what I am comfortable with.

I am grateful that I do get along with my family and extended family.

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Posted By Kathleen David on December 11, 2018

I do not know many artists that are totally satisfied with the amount of work they get done in a year. I think we always have in the back of our heads what we could have done in that amount of time.

However I read a study the other day that was for some psychology conference a friend attended about how humans tend of over estimate what they can get done within a certain time period. Apparently we need to add about 30-40% to the time estimate to get the actually amount of time a task will take. There were exceptions including repetitive activities where the subject has done it so many times, they know how long it takes.

There is also a tendency to forget how much one has done with in a time period.

This year found me making some pretty complicated costumes for puppets. I pushed my skills and learned a few new techniques along the way.

I also gave away a number of puppets to very interesting people this year and some of the puppets I had given showed up in unexpected places on the Internet.

I finally gave a puppet to its Doctor after about six years of trying to get the puppet to Colin Baker. He loved it very much. So that’s six puppets to the six actors who have played the Doctor. For those of you scoring at home, that’s 5,6,7,8,10, and 12. I am hoping that I can get 11 to his actor sometime within the next year or so. 3 is going to the son of the actor at some point. 4 isn’t happening unless I run across a friend of who can get it to him. 2 might go to the son of the actor. 9 might be a bad idea but I still might give it to him. 13 is in the works and I figure at some point I will get it to her.

I have lost track of the number of companions that have either puppets of their characters or other roles they have played. I could probably figure it out given some time. I do know that both Catherine Tate and Pearl Mackie loved theirs.

Peter got my John Constantine puppet to Matt Ryan which he loved. I was looking at the puppets they did for Legends of Tomorrow and I have to say, probably for the first time, his puppet was better than the ones on the show.

I got Wong to Wong and Dr. Strange to Dr. Strange so both Benedicts have their puppet avatars. Now I need to find a way to get Mordo to Mordo.

I am stating here for all to read (OK a few of you who still read) I am going to put some of my done puppets up for sale next year.

I am also going to be putting more of them into Art Shows. I did zero this year and last year so 2019 is back into that venue.

Also I planned on getting back into doll making. I have a couple of ideas that won’t translate to puppet/soft doll. I need to brush off the skills that I learned from Wendy Froud.

Did I get as much done as I wanted to get done? No, not at all. And that’s on me.

Did I get anything done? Yes, but I have got to stop doing last minute projects unless something comes up out of the blue. I know what I want to get done. I know when it has to be done so I should just get things in order and do them. Procrastination, thy name is Kathleen.

I did discover that my puppets are getting known outside the fandom sphere, which is really neat and an ego boost that propels me to do more. I actually had some people find me on the Internet after some of the puppets went viral on Social Media in certain circles.

So overall I am not feeling bad about this year creatively. I took a bit of a pause but that’s over now and I plan to make 2019 the year of the creative journey for me.

I am grateful for what I did get done and the adventures I had with my art.

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Posted By Kathleen David on December 7, 2018

And then we are onto the next year.

We do have a lot packed into that 24 days including a birthday party, a world premiere, a number of dentist appointments, a number of doctor appointments, events to attend, and regular life to deal with.

Not much time to breath or think. It is very much a do time.

But that is how this month goes for many people. December can be packed with social events and activities racing us to the next year before we know it.

Today is Caroline’s birthday party which is dinner and a movie with some of her friends.

Tomorrow Caroline and I will be trekking into the city so she can visit with some friends and I can run some errands.

I think we are clear on Sunday then we tumble into the activities for the next week.

There are things I need to start getting together for our Christmas visit to my parents as well.

Life can move rather fast. I expect that I will still be surprised when the year changes even with knowing how much of 2018 is left.

Off to get some stuff done.

I am grateful for the time I have before the year turns.

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