Internet Filters
Posted By Kathleen David on June 6, 2019
It is interesting that some people’s filters seem to switch off when they get on the keyboard and post to the Internet. Things that they would never say out loud to people they are talking about are said without considering the consequences of what they said.
I once was told before one speaks one needs to ask oneself the following questions.
Does it need to be said?
Does it need to be said by me?
Does it need to be said by me now?
I have taken that very much to heart and I think it has helped me keep from over-sharing and getting into arguments that I really don’t need to be a part of nor do I need as part of my life.
It has taken me a long time to learn this and I am very glad that the Internet was not in its current form when I was a hair trigger smart mouthed teenager.
Many times I find myself not saying something because of the first question. Does it need to be said? Which to me means is it going to contribute something new to the discussion or am I just adding to the noise? Do I want this to be out there forever and a day?
I do then go to if it needs to be said by me. Am I going to be listened to or would it be better coming from someone else with more gravitas or invested? Funny thing is that over the years I have gone from young pup to wise sage so according to some I do have the weight of years and experience to speak out on various topics. And there are a number that I am much more comfortable to talk about now then I would have been even ten years ago. Apparently I underestimate the worth of my words to others. At the same time people know that if I am engaging, I feel I have something to say.
Less is more as some say.
I have the count to three before speaking rule practically tattooed on my brain. Giving myself a chance to rethink if it needs to be said now.
There is a lot of kneejerking on the internet. People see something and immediately start responding. Now that’s fine if one is congratulating the birth of a child or an achievement or offering sympathy for bad news. It becomes tricky when there is an argument going on. Tempers flare and people say things that either they apologize for later or they double down and the argument goes on.
I desperately try not to be a mean girl or catty when I criticize something I read or see on the Internet. There is something called constructive criticism that I have seen used to explain bad and hurtful behavior. Constructive criticism is, according to the dictionary, the process whereby an individual expresses his or her well-reasoned opinions about a particular thing , subject , person or action whether involving both positive {good} or negative {Bad} comments in a pleasant manner. And the response after being called on such bad behavior is not “well you asked”.
I honestly think if the citizens of the Internet took the time to ask themselves the three questions and really thought about the answers, the Internet would be a much nicer place to wander around in.
I am grateful for the principals my parents taught me.
Love this post! I’m still trying to picture you as a hair-trigger young pup. 🙂
I always tell people “I write like I talk,” so I would never dream of writing things I wouldn’t say out loud. Although nowadays, if anything, my writing tends to be a bit more structured.