This was a bit of a shock yesterday. I am on the iPad looking at some photo reference when my NYT news alert pinging me with the information that Robin Williams was dead at age 63. <\/p>\n
Then I went to the article and found out that it was suicide by asphyxiation, my heart dropped to my knees.<\/p>\n
Peter called Harlan and talked to him a bit about it. We sat there stunned at the news.<\/p>\n
I never met the man. I knew plenty of people who knew him personally including Harlan. <\/p>\n
The closest I got was when Peter and I were watching on HBO his new stand up routine. This was probably about 10 years ago. He was telling jokes in rapid fire and then he told one that had both Peter and me say aloud \u201cHey!?!?\u201d<\/p>\n
I looked at Peter. He picked up the phone and called Harlan.<\/p>\n
\u201cHey Harlan,\u201d said Peter, \u201cWe\u2019re watching the new Robin William\u2019s stand up. Got a question for you, did you tell Robin that joke that Kathleen told you?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh yeah,\u201d said Harlan, \u201cI did. It was funny and Kathleen\u2019s jokes are rarely funny but that one was. \u201c<\/p>\n
Yes, I know that Harlan thinks I am one of the un-funniest people on the planet and I am OK with that.<\/p>\n
Peter put down the phone after some other small talk and said, \u201cCongratulations, you are an unsung gag writer for Robin Williams.\u201d<\/p>\n
That\u2019s a close as I got and I did get a good story out of it.<\/p>\n
Robin Williams was a brilliant performer. He was a better serious actor than anyone every gave him credit for. He also suffered life long from depression.<\/p>\n
And I am hoping that the conversation that comes out of this tragedy is that there is a better understanding of what depression is and how it can affect someone who seems to have it all but probably didn\u2019t think they had anything.<\/p>\n
Depression is not just being sad. I know some seriously depressed people that you would never think of them as depressed at all. They seem so happy and outgoing but that\u2019s a mask that they have learned to show in public. It\u2019s not hard to do if one knows how.<\/p>\n
I have stated before in on this web log that I have suffered from depression off and on through my life. I have a set of coping skills that help get me through the bad days along with a support system that helps me get back to center. I have had chemical help at times during the way but I am one of the lucky ones that doesn\u2019t need it all the time to get my brain to stop with the dark thoughts and feelings.<\/p>\n
Yes I have tried to kill myself. I was very lucky that I didn\u2019t succeed. <\/p>\n
I honestly wish I could go back to those times and tell myself that it does get better for me but I probably wouldn\u2019t have believed myself at the time. <\/p>\n
And that\u2019s the problem with depression in a nutshell. When in the throes of it, one can\u2019t see an up or an out. There is no \u2018just smile and be happy\u2019 or \u2018think happy thoughts\u2019. Depression is not something that you can just cheer up and be happy. <\/p>\n
Again I can think of a number of people I know who suffer in silence. You would never know that they were depressed unless they told you or performed some action like suicide which makes all those left second guessing themselves for the rest of their lives. <\/p>\n
Then you hear things like we are hearing now upon Mr. William\u2019s death. \u2018He had everything going for him, how could he not see it.\u2019 \u2018He was such a funny man how could he do such a thing?\u2019 \u2018He always seemed so happy and was always outgoing.\u2019<\/p>\n
I have heard depression describe, and for the life of me I don\u2019t remember who first told me this metaphor but I have seen it used more than once, as a large black dog that comes into your life and doesn\u2019t go away. It dogs your heels and sits on your chest breathing into your face. <\/p>\n
It can be overwhelming and one can\u2019t see anyway out except suicide to ease the pain within that won\u2019t go away. Rather fatal solution to a problem that isn\u2019t as bad as it seems.<\/p>\n
This is the third suicide that I am dealing with this year. This one is a little further out since I didn\u2019t personally know him but it hurts none the less. <\/p>\n
So know I am here. You can get in touch with me via live journal messenger or my tumblr or my email kathodavid 9at9 me 9dot9 com or puppetmaker 9at9 gmail 9dot9 com or my facebook page. <\/p>\n
I am listening. I am a really good listener too. <\/p>\n
Let\u2019s start the discussion about Depression and may be some good will come out of this terrible tragedy.<\/p>\n
I am grateful I didn\u2019t succeed in offing myself.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
This was a bit of a shock yesterday. I am on the iPad looking at some photo reference when my NYT news alert pinging me with the information that Robin Williams was dead at age 63. Then I went to the article and found out that it was suicide by asphyxiation, my heart dropped to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4681","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t