No Strings Attached

Posted By Kathleen David on April 17, 2020

Day 33 of the Homebound Saga aka Friday April 17, 2020

It was announced yesterday by the Governor of New York that the stay at home order has been extended to May 17^th, 2020.

This means another month of what the past month has been. 

Which is stressful for many as we are back to waiting to see when and how. 

After Peter had his stroke seven years ago, I found myself with a new title which was caregiver or caretaker depending on what is going on. A friend, whose husband had Parkinson and has since passed away, invited me to join a group of people who were caregivers. It was a lifeline for me as there were others who could give me advice and let me vent. I did the same for other members. It was support from people who understood what I was going through.

One thing I did learn from that group is that to be a good caretaker, you had to learn to take care of yourself. Burnout is very much in the cards. And if you get to that point, then your ability to help drops like a stone through a wet paper bag.

One of the biggest things I learned was to be honest with myself. To know what I could and couldn’t do. Not beating myself up if I couldn’t do something because of various reasons. We all have limits and, while we do push the limits, we have to recognized when we have hit one. Pushing past the limits leads to diminished returns.

Your feelings and needs are as important as those you are caring for. Ignoring what you need to do for you over a long period of time just leads to breaking down both physically and mentally. Being angry or scare is legitimate and quite common. 

Taking time to exercise is key to making it through this. Exercise has so many benefits for mental and physical health. Even a little exercise can help in so many ways. There is a lot of help online to give you something you can do within the confines of the space you find yourself in.

Sleep is very important for one’s overall wellbeing. In these uncertain times, it can be an illusive beast. When the days melt together, it can be even harder. I put myself on a sleep schedule that I am going to bed promptly at 11:00pm. Since I started that, rather than going to bed when my eyes are heavy, I find that I am getting up about 7:00 to 8:00 am having slept through most of the night. I do have the advantage of having medication that was prescribed for me which I take every night about the same time. I was taking it before all this started due to a lack of sleep every night and I am very happy I am taking it now. 

When we end up in what feels like a constant crouch with fight or flight being our entire lives, it can do all kinds of things to the body that will harm it over time. One’s body does not know why we are under stress; it just knows that it is stressed and acts accordingly. One’s body responds to stress with various hormones throughout the body. Over time this can destroy one’s body as it doesn’t know when to stand down. 

Stress relief is so important when we find ourselves in these situations. Meditation or prayer or exercise or whatever you do to relieve stress becomes a must rather than when you can get around to it. Just stick to the positive rather than self-destructive behaviors which can lead to a loop of stress that just makes things worse. 

I learned to accept help when it is offered. That was a hard one for me. I have tried to be self-reliant, so I didn’t have to bother anyone with my problems and issues. But Peter’s stroke gave me the understanding that I didn’t have to do this alone and help was not weakness. I had people who came and made sure I was all right too. People helped me organize the house so Peter could get around. They helped me get things in place so Peter could live in the house. Friends offered emotional support, so I knew I was not doing this on my own. 

I hope this helps some of you in figuring out your way through this time of constant crisis. 

I am grateful for all the help I have received that helps me to help others.

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Posted By Kathleen David on April 16, 2020

I want to say…Thursday? Yep, Thursday. April 16? Looks at calendar…Yep.

I was missing a day in there. I think Tuesday went away at some point.

When the days blend like this, keeping track of time can be difficult.

I worked on masks yesterday and plan on continuing today. More on that next Tuesday so I have something to write about.

Mewlan just flopped down on my feet. She has been less skittish recently and more affectionate. I think it is Phoebe’s influence since the two of them are each other’s shadow. 

They are changing the electrical meter outside the house and we are having a lot of power blips within. It should be completed shortly. Just a little disconcerting while things restart then restart then restart.

This is one of those mornings where I know what I need to do but I don’t wanna. I would like to call one of these nebulous days a gimme day which would allow me to not be a totally responsible adult. Every time I do that, I feel guilty and end up back into adult mode.

Right now, I am finishing my second cup of coffee and sorting out my list in my head. I do have an activity at 2 as my mother is going to be honored for her work at Emory as an emeritus professor. I am looking forward to that.

I am grateful for the silly things in my life that bring me joy.

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Posted By Kathleen David on April 15, 2020

Day 31 of the Homebound Saga aka Wednesday April 15, 2020

It is official a month since the stay at home order was put in place and we have survived it.

We still have no idea when and how the world will start up again. 

But we continue to move forward day to day.

Yesterday I went on my once a week run for all the errands that need to be done. I restocked the larder, went to the Pharmacy, and the Post Office. I still have not needed to put gas in the cars. I am not even a quarter of a tank down in Peter’s car. My car is down just about a quarter of a tank. 

The grocery store is starting to restock on items that have not been on the shelves for a while. There is toilet paper, bleach, and tissues again. Baking soda does not exist nor does yeast at the moment. The one that is puzzling me is liquid dishwasher soap. There is none to be had. Dish washing liquid is becoming hard to find too. The grocery store I like to shop at has instituted a one way on all the aisles to allow for the spacing needed. Makes it interesting to get to what one wants. For the most part people were obeying the rules. Like always there were a few that decided that their need to get their groceries over road the need for those rules.

The pharmacy was a cake walk as I was the only one in the store besides the employees. As I was leaving, there were a number of people coming in. It was the same at the post office.

I made chicken noodle soup for dinner because the grocery story finally had meat in the meat case again. 

I also got the cat boxes clean which they really needed. Yesterday was the first day in over a week where it was possible to do it outside. The winds had died down and there was no rain. I went out onto the back porch and enjoyed the day. 

Today we are supposed to have rain in the morning but it will clear up by afternoon so Caroline and I can take our daily walk. We really enjoy our walks. It is also a chance for us to talk about all kinds of subjects. I think it has made us closer as mother and daughter. I do know her better now. 

The cats had a bit of a spat this morning over one of the favorite sleeping spots. It is now sorted out, but I did have to break up the fight for the first time in a while. I wish time-outs worked on cats. First thing I do when I get downstairs is feed the cats their daily wet food. I have to make sure that I put things down in a certain order to keep there from being fights. Once the dishes are down, they have breakfast. 

Then I wash my hands and check my temperature. Coffee is next on the list. I write in my paper diary and then write my entry for my web logs which I am doing now.

After that it is whatever is first on the list and work my way down it.

Caroline started remote schooling on Monday and has been working very hard. She is also getting ready for her AP exams. In some good news, they have cancelled the Regents exams for the year. If they pass their classes, they pass their Regents. The SAT has been cancelled for the spring as has the ACT. We are waiting to see what is happening in May.

Next Tuesday I will be joining Shakespeare on his Shakespeare approves Facebook page for a short coffee break. More details as I have them. It will be silly. 

I am going to have to turn on the lights as it has clouded up again and the living room is dark.

Have a good day all. Wash your hands, don’t slouch, and take care of yourself. You know how I worry.

I am grateful for a clear day to get things done outside.

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Posted By Kathleen David on April 14, 2020

There is an excellent animated series on Netflix entitled The Dragon Prince. The world building is very well done and the story is excellent with lots of twists and turns. The star of the show for us is the dragon prince Azymondias aka Zym who is a real dragon and really is a prince. I promise it does make sense if you watch the show.

Caroline really wanted a Zym plushie but none were to be had. There was some merchandize but it seemed to be limited to hot topic and aimed at teens. There is a Funko pop of Zym but that is hard to cuddle. 

It was on her Christmas list but for reasons I couldn’t get to it. She asked if Zym might appear by Easter. I said that was possible. 

The people who created the show have been very generous with the fans sharing all kinds of art and model sheets for the characters making it much easier to create the costumes for cosplayers. For me it meant that I had a clear idea how Zym looked from all angles.

(For the VI:These is a modeling sheet for the animators to use. It is a picture of Zym who is a light blue dragon with a white mane and horns on his head. His wings and underbelly are a darker blue and his eyes are blue. He has spikes running down his back and a white tuft at the end of his tail. He had white claws on his feet with a dew claw on the back of his leg. The first picture is front and back. The second picture is a side view)

From this I used what I know from building previous stuffed animals to create Caroline a plush Zym.

(For the VI: This is Caroline’s Zym. He is based on the drawings of the animators. He has blue eyes, white hair, light blue skin, dark blue underbelly, white claws and dark blue wings.)

Side view of Zym

Back View of Zym

He was an interesting project and, if I make another one, there are some things I would do differently.

But this one is Caroline’s and she loves him dearly. 

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Posted By Kathleen David on April 13, 2020

Day 29 of the Homebound Saga

Sleep has been an elusive bášŧárd for those dwelling here. We have been having very sketchy sleep with lots of points where we are awake. And when sleeping, dreams have been nightmares on an epic scale.

And we are not the only ones. My friends are talking about bad sleep and nightmares as well. 

We are all under stress right now. The type of stress is determined by the situation we find ourselves in. 

How we deal with the stress has changes because many or our outlets that we did use for stress are not available right now. Be it going to the gym or a meal with friends or seeing a movie to escape. 

To add to the ’we are not sure when the stay at home order will be lifted’ is the new conundrum as to how it will happen. Will we have to be tested before getting back into the public? And how is that going to work? If there is a vaccine, after essential personal, what order will it be given to the populous? We have a glimpse of what is next but not a when or really a solid how.

That does not help with peace of mind.

What does is that we seem to have flattened the curve and the hospitals are not overwhelmed so they have to make the decisions that those poor health care people had to in Italy. And that is a good for us because we did what needed to be done.

Now we can’t relax and resume our lives outside our house or we are going to end up back where we were and possible worse. 

Thus more stress because our health is dependent on the actions of those around us. 

I had a hammering headache yesterday that didn’t help my mood at all. This morning it is a dull roar. This after my first true migraine after months of none. 

This morning I can feel it behind my eyeballs, but it is not as bad as yesterday. I am hoping with some coffee I can get it to go away. It was not a sinus headache as those feel different.

I have to remember to stretch my neck as I find myself turtling. I can feel the tension in my back where I have carried it for years.

Stress is a pain in more ways than one.

But there is nothing wrong about being stress or sad or angry in this situation because this is a screwed up world right now as a virus rules the planet. 

Good feelings for getting things done are valid. Being angry because you can’t watch baseball is valid. Being sad you can’t go to a friend’s funeral is valid. 

I have also seen a lot of kindness from people. Asking people who should not be out or have a hard time leaving their homes if they need anything from the store. Waving to each other at a safe distance and asking how we are. The rainbow posters in the windows for those still out there working so we can stay home. Neighbors check in with neighbors to make sure they are OK. 

That is what is giving me hope right now. That is keeping me from dropping into the pit of despair. The silly things we are doing in our houses and sharing with the world. The museums that are creating virtual tours for people to do. The Center for Puppetry Arts has an entire schedule of shows for people to watch. The entertainment and distractions are off the charters. 

There is hope in this chaos and I am trying to focus on that and what I can do. 

I am grateful for people helping other people just out of the goodness of their hearts.

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