Posted By Kathleen David on July 3, 2020
Day 37 of the Reopening Epic. Friday June 3, 2020.
Caroline and I take a walk once a day and during that walk we talked about a lot of different subjects.
Yesterday we had a long talk about being bullied in school.
She was surprised to learn that I was the target of bullies at school.
Part of it was that they could get a rise out of me. They could get me to cry and thought this was fun.
What they didn’t know is that I was not crying because I was sad but because I was angry and had no other outlet for my rage. I felt helpless.
And I got the usual advice like ‘don’t be so sensitive’ or ‘ignore them’ or ‘don’t give them the satisfaction’ or ‘it is not you but them who has the problem’ or ‘they like you and this is how they express it’ and that famous line ‘boys will be boys’.
It got to the point that I ran away from my elementary school and swore never to go back. That woke up the administration and they read the riot act to my class. I think the teachers were told to keep an eye on me as well. It wasn’t perfect but it was not as bad as before.
Until High School where it started up again. It was only a few individuals who had been my biggest tormentors in elementary school. Unfortunately, we all had shop together. The workshop was in the back of the school and had great places for people to confront other people without anyone knowing.
One day I was confronted on the staircase by my biggest bully and his two buddies. He was saying all kinds of mean things and then he poked a finger in my chest. I snapped and knocked him down the stairs along with his two goons. They pretty much left me alone after that.
It was not perfect after that, but it was better. I also found a group of like-minded folks to hang with and it improved even more.
Caroline was tormented by the mean girls of her elementary school. I think part of it was jealousy of all the cool things she got to do. Caroline was accused by them of always bragging about her life. All she was doing was talking about what she had been doing. Apparently having cool parents was also some sort of a sin. Also, she got along with the boys which was apparently a grave sin in their eyes.
High School has been better for her too since she doesn’t have any classes with her former tormentors.
We talk about how bulling is bad, and everyone should feel safe in school. There are things that have been done to improve the situation. However, kids can find ways around the rules and the promise of social ostracization can be strong.
I know a lot of bullies have low social esteem and make themselves feel better by tearing down others. Some are just out and out sociopaths. There may be something in the home life that makes them act out like this or a chemical imbalance in the brain.
It does not give them a right to take out their problems on others.
I am very anti-bully and trying to help those that I see being bullied.
I am grateful for those who see people being bullied and do something about it even if it is uncomfortable for them.
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