No Strings Attached

Posted By Kathleen David on March 5, 2022

Happy 85^th Birthday to Helen S. O’Shea, My Mother

Today is my mother’s birthday. I can honestly say I wouldn’t be here without her.

She is a very accomplished woman who has done many amazing things in her life.

She is a shining example of the American Dream when it works right. Not that she didn’t have to fight tooth and nail to get there.

Many of my mother’s skills passed on to me. She would always take the time to explain what she was doing when sewing or folding laundry or cooking a meal or dealing with people trying to stab you in the back. All I can say is thank goodness for tenure.

She is my go-to for so many things. If I have a medical question, I consult Dr. Mom as she is known. She recognized that Peter was having a stroke and told us to get him to a hospital NOW. 

She made sure that all four of her children left the house with the basic cooking skills. My most used cookbook is the one she composed for her children entitled “Recipes from 1146 Lullwater RD”. It has so many of my childhood favorites.

My ability to play suitcase Tetris, packing a car with an impossible amount of gear or as some call it the ability to turn the cargo area into a TARDIS. 

This superpower is also very handy at work. I am given a section to clean up and make it appealing to the customers. I have a good eye for composition and color. I can also pack a lot into a small space and not make it look junky or overcrowded. My section is yarn that really makes me think on my feet.

I learned how to listen from my mother. I observed her in conversation with others. She also taught me that a small kindness or a polite word goes a long way. I have watched tired cashiers perk up because I said please and thank you and treated them the way I would want to be treated. All this I learned from my mother

She taught me to sew, about planting a garden, how to take care of my health, and so many more things.

Happy Birthday Mom!

I love you very much.

Yr daughter

Kathleen

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Posted By Kathleen David on March 4, 2022

Twenty-four years ago I moved up to New York to be closer to my boyfriend Peter David.

May Twenty-sixth will be our twenty-first wedding anniversary,

This is the longest I have been living in the same house.

There has been a lot of change and up-ending of new norms here as Peter moves onto dialysis. 

It was something we knew was in the cards but we had kept it at bay for over eight years with medication, diet change, and a lot of monitoring.

This time the numbers were not bad but very bad. We found out that he was going to have to go on dialysis on a Friday and he checked into the hospital on the Tuesday of next week. He had the surgery to insert a catheter into him peritoneal cavity so we could start peritoneal dialysis.

This is a form of dialysis that Peter can do at home and when he travels.

We have cancelled our appearance at GalaxyCon Richmond which we both were looking forward to. He won’t be ready by that point.

Also, regarding the GalaxyCons in general, if you are a media nerd, go. It is a lot of fun with something for everyone. I love seeing all the families there. And the variety of costumes is pretty doggone amazing. The owners encourage the fans to be part of the convention.

We are currently on for Heliospere (March25-27), which I am looking forward to a lot. My first time being the Artist Guest of honor. This is a more traditional conventions in some ways and pushing the envelope in others. The LGBTQ community is represented in the panels and the like.

But before all that, I have to get the house ready for Peter to be able to do dialysis at home. This is taking a lot of time and thought as we re-arrange the house to accommodate what Peter needs to stay alive.

My weekend is booked to deep clean the bedroom and prep the place to put our massive boxes of supplies that is structurally sound because his dialysis bags are very heavy. We have to sort out where supplies need to go. We have to make sure we have the other things we need.

It is a big shift in our lives in so many ways. How eat. How the day is now broken down. Making sure we have the supplies we need. 

But we need to do all this because Peter’s life is dependent on all this going right.

Am I stressed by all this? Yes. Even broke out in stress hives the other day.

I think I have gone through the rest of this year’s adrenaline in the past couple of weeks.

I am sorting out all the feelings I have about this. And I have many.

We are fortunate that we have a strong support staff from the hospital helping us with this transition.

I have friends who have offered to let me vent to them without judgement. I am not quite at that point yet. I probably should be talking to someone beside my therapist who I am going to have to change because I don’t feel like I am being heard really. I am not getting any practical advice just understanding which makes me think that they don’t understand.

At my mother’s advice (whose 85^th Birthday is tomorrow). I am taking half an hour to meditate or yoga or stretching or do something for me. Personally, I am knocking drinking right off the list. Well, severely limiting it. I read an article about contentious drinking. To think why you need a drink and why you need it now. Habit doesn’t count because one is trying to break that behavior.

I feel like I am going through the seven stages of grief. Which makes no sense to me at times and other times it makes perfect sense. I do know I am a far piece from acceptance.

I place my brain into its stage management mode and stay there until the crises pass. Then deal with my mental fallout.

I am grateful for positive coping skills.

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Posted By Kathleen David on February 25, 2022

Before my entry this day, I would like to thank everyone who helped with the Kickstarter. Those behind the scenes and all those who supported the project. 

Hey, keep pushing it. I have read it and it is a great anthology with a variety of stories.

Now onto the entry after two cups of coffee.

Although we have Peter on a form of dialysis that will allow him to travel, there are still limitations we have to follow to the letter.

If we do this, then there will be no complications and life will care on.

One slip up, and bad things will happen like sepsis.

I would like to give a public “Hip Hip Hoory” to Peter who is making the changes he needs in his diet to help him. It has not been easy, but he knows what is at stake,

There are other changes as well. We have to make sure we have a sterile space to work in. This is going to be a bit change for the cats because they are uses to being in most of the rooms. This puts a kibosh on them sleeping with us.

The next day or so will be about getting the room ready as I have to clean all the corners.

I feel like I am behind the eight-ball and about to be slammed into the corner pocket.

Doesn’t look like I got the last two jobs I applied for. It is sad for me because I know I would rock either of them or both.

I still enjoy my time at Michael’s craft store, and I have both taught and learned a lot about crafts.

I have decided to take half an hour a day for me. Destress for a bit.

I have some physical limitations which I am trying to help through yoga and stretching. I have learned to move every body part I can before I get out of bed. Gets the joints moving before standing up. It has helped my right knee a lot.

Time limitations are a bugaboo of mine. I either get it bang on or I get nibbled tto death by the time sink ducks. I prefer it when I have some time at the end for those last minute things that show up.

Today I have an actual list that I hope to be able to finish by dinner time,.

Let’s see what pops up and thwart me.

I am grateful for anything I do that gets done.

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Posted By Kathleen David on February 20, 2022

If you keep up with Peter and me on Facebook, you have a pretty good idea what is going on.

If you have joined us on <a href=https://www.patreon.com/peterdavid?fan_landing=true>Patreon,</a> you have a much better idea.

If you have no idea what I am talking about. Here’s the short version.

Peter’s kidneys are failing. They have been over the last couple of years. There have been medications and. diet changes that slowed it down. 

However, after his last set of blood work, we knew we were going to take the next step.

He chose peritoneal dialysis which can be done at home and on the road. There are things we have to do here so we can perform the medical procedure to hook him up safely. For one thing it is very important to have a serial field to work in. If anything gets into the system, it could kill him. If this stop working or something goes wrong, there is a good chance it will kill him.

Thursday February 3, we went to have a consultation with the surgeon who would be placing the catheter. He started by telling us it would be in 2 to 4 weeks. Then he looked at Peter’s last blood work and I saw his face change. He said, “No, I think we need to get you in as soon as we can.” This sent me in a bit of panic.

On Tuesday February 8^th, Peter went into the hospital to have his COVID test done along with several other tests they wanted to do before they performed the surgery. Most of those were done Wednesday along with draining all the excess water he has been carrying around through medication.

Thursday, he had surgery for the inserting a catheter in his gut to get him ready to start dialysis. He came home that evening. This was a great relief to me.

He has been obeying the instructions given to him by the hospital. He is healing. He can now move without too much pain. He feels better. His feet and ankles look normal for the first time in years. He knows how important it is to do everything he now needs to do to stay alive.

Monday, we see an RN to learn the next step in all this. Peter will have his bandages removed and we will see how he is healing and how to do the dialysis so his body will be able finally get out all the waste that his kidneys can no longer do.

I have been in logical stage management mode and pushing down my feelings because I have a lot to do. 

Yes, I know that is not the best thing for me. I am taking half an hour for me to just sit quietly or meditate or yoga or stretching. It is time for me.

Peter has been dealing with this whole life change and trying to work through his emotions. 

We have been supporting each other and just being there.

It has not been easy.

We appreciate the support we have gotten from our friends and Peter’ fans. It has really helped.

Caroline came home this weekend, and it is nice to have her around.

I am grateful for all the support we have.

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Posted By Kathleen David on February 18, 2022

I don’t think I have put any spoilers in here. I tried to be as vague as possible.

The Disney movie Encanto is not gone from the theaters however, for the most part, its spirit seems to live on in the music from the film and Disney+. Although looking at the box office numbers is very interesting.

It is the tale of Mirabel who is the only person in her family who is not ‘special’ i.e., doesn’t have some form of a superpower. This is important to the central theme of the film which is to me acceptance.

There are several songs by Lin-Manual Miranda in the film. Like most of his music, they are catchy tunes with well written lyrics.

My personal favorite is “Surface Pressure” or as I call it, my theme song.

But the song that has caught the attention of the world and is the biggest hit since “Let it go” is “We don’t talk about Bruno”. Mostly thanks to TikToc and other short form social media.

It is a catchy tune and tell the audience about the one Madrigal who left and is only talked about. In whispers or with the phrase “We don’t talk about Bruno”.

Bruno’s special power was prophesy. He could see bits and pieces of the future. Not that he totally understood what he was seeing which he clearly admits to. It is a frozen point in time which is of great importance. 

Halfway through the song, we hear from the towns people about what Bruno told them.

The other day I had an epiphany about what that verse is really about.

Since Bruno was known to tell the future sometimes, the assumption is that everything he says is about the future.

For the towns people, their prophesies are Bruno making small talk with them.  

Say with the woman with the dead pet fish, Bruno commented that her fish was not looking well and maybe she should take it to the vet. That translated to her as her fish was going to die.

With the man with the gut, imagine Bruno seeing this dude at the local café piling it in with both food and drink. Bruno comments Wow, keep eating like that and you will pack on the pounds. Of course, that was taken by the man as something that will come to pass, and it was set in stone.  Bruno was just making small talk.

With the priest, say Bruno comes across him sitting in the chapel and tearing at his hair because of one problem or another. The guy comes off as very stressed. Bruno says You keep doing that, you are going to lose all your hair. Again, just small talk to Bruno and gospel to the Priest.

The only two true prophesies were told, and they are within the family only.  Isabela and Delores had real predictions by their uncle. Delores was told that the man of her dreams would be just out of reach, betrothed to another. Isabel is told that the life of her dreams would be promised, and someday be hers also that
her power would grow, like the grapes that thrive on the vine. Both of which come to pass during the film.

Bruno’s prophesy for Mirabel has two outcomes which is seen in the green future telling glass.  Again, during the film both were shown, and it fits together nicely.

So that is my theory.  A theory which is mine.

I am grateful that Peter has options for his health and life (more on that tomorrow).

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