No Strings Attached

Posted By Kathleen David on June 3, 2015

This past weekend I was not at a convention which, given the previous three weeks, was unusual.

However I had friends at several conventions across the country so I was reading about their adventures. I was looking at pictures of the conventions and commenting on the clever costumes I saw.

Come Monday it became apparent that all these conventions had something in common. Someone was touched in a way that made them feel very uncomfortable and very little was done to take care of the situation.

“Hey but at least something was done,” says the Internet, “So things are getting better.”

OK that’s better but still not enough.

I made the mistake of reading comments that were left at various articles about the various incidents and that’s when I really got angry.

We say that cosplay is not consent. We see this on the walls of conventions and in our program books.

And there were a few instances of people having their badges yanks and informed they could no longer attend the convention since they violated the contract they signed to get their badge.

However what set me off was the people on the websites that said that the person in the costume had it coming because they were wearing such a sexualized outfit that they were inviting the attention that got.

No.

Let me repeat that, NO.

That attitude has been used for centuries to put the blame of the bad behavior on the wrong party or to make the perpetrator feel better about what they did which makes me think that they KNEW what they were doing was wrong.

The new twist was that these costumers are making the costumes sexier so that they are responsible for how others treat them in public.

I looked at a number of the costumes that were being talked about and the material that the costumes come from. If anything, they added some cloth to the costumes. I have had friends in costumes that were superhero based and they were covered from neck to toe and they still got unwanted attention.

And it is not just women who get this unwanted attention.

I have a buddy who works out and has a very buff body, which he is rather proud of. Considering the amount of effort he puts it to create it, he has every right to be proud. He has a really good 300 costume that his wife made for him that he wears at conventions and has even marched in the DragonCon parade.

I saw the two of them at lunch and because I hadn’t seen them in about a year, I went to their table to catch up on stuff. I noticed my friend seemed uncomfortable sitting. I asked what’s wrong? Thinking he had injured himself in someway lifting weights. His wife informs me that he had serious bruises on his butt from where people had been pinching him when he had been in his 300 costume. Apparently he also had some scratches as well and a couple were rather deep. This happened with both women and men however the scratches were from the women.

He still works out but is much more careful about taking photos with people in his costume and, according to his wife, he has a couple of scars on his butt now.

That’s not right on so many levels.

I don’t care if the other person is wearing a revealing thong and pasties, that does not give anyone the right to touch without permission and then the person wearing the costume dictates how much touch and where. They can have limits and those limits should be respected.

Saying that they are asking for it because (fill in stupid reason here) has been wrong since it was first uttered by some idiot back in the stone age and still is very wrong.

I am not going to say that they should try to put themselves in the costumer’s shoes or boots or hooves. Because I know that they can’t see what they are doing as wrong.

And that is sad on so many levels.

I do appreciate that conventions are trying to do more to prevent this sort of behavior. I am proud of fandom for trying to do something about this. I am proud of costumers deciding that they are going to not put up with this sort of behavior anymore and call people on it right there on the spot. I am happy that so many costumers and fans do have each other’s backs.

And I am angry that they have to be so diligent about it.

I am grateful for those working to the change in attitude at conventions and in fandom.

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Posted By Kathleen David on June 1, 2015

Could have called this another Random thoughts before the coffee kicks in but I am on my second cup.

Caroline needed me this morning so I got up and performed my tasks needed as Mom, which included why we don’t put gum in our pockets and forget about it lecture. Now I am going to be going very carefully through her laundry since it is laundry day here.

My left hand has been in pain for a month now. Nothing really for it. The swelling has stopped and I am just dealing with the bruise for the most part. The dexterity of the fingers has improved back pretty much to the point of where I was before I fell. Biggest problem is the inability to put weight on that palm and some weakness to the grip which may be partial caused by the pain when I do grip some thing. But it is improving so that’s a positive.

The pain in the hand has limited my time for typing. I have only so long until it becomes uncomfortable to type. And the number of missed keystrokes or wrong keystrokes is worse than usual which I find frustrating.

The weather is cooler. It has already rained once this morning and I am hoping for more since the grass and plants can use it. Ah, there it starts up again. The village did a storm drain check the other day so I am hoping for minimal flooding if any.

One of the best lines I heard at a convention was by someone quoting a show runner about fans, “We write the show for you not with you.” And that my friends is the rub when it comes to entitled fandom of which there seems to be more every day.

It was nice NOT having a convention this weekend. Next weekend is NYCC special edition and it looks like I will be there Saturday but Sunday is a bit of a question mark since I have some relatives in town I really want to see. Then I think I get a break but Peter still has some obligations for the month of June.

Towards the end of June, Caroline will finished her first year in middle school. She will be visiting her big sister Shana for a bit and then we sort out July in which we may or may not be going to Brazil for a convention.

Then we have Shoreleave in August as well as DragonCon and there is probably an event or two I am forgetting. SDCC is not in the cards this year sorry friends who I only seem to see there.

Inky has finally forgiven me for leaving her so much this past month. She has been rather stand offish until last night and she flopped down next to me and fell asleep. Fig has gone back to sleeping with Caroline. And Millie is just being an old cat who is set in his ways.

Going to sort out the day. Think there maybe some puppet construction in it. Along with a research project.

It’s the first of June? Wow, this year is powering by quickly.

Caroline’s favorite political show on TV right now is John Oliver’s. She was roaring with laughter about the FIFA scandal. She loved the episode about standardized tests. She liked how a subject is approached then broken down for understanding and then taking to town for how wrong people can be on said subject.

Might have to go for that rare third cup this morning. Two doesn’t seem to be doing it.

Off to do something constructive.

I am grateful for continued improvement in my left hand even if it seems to be taking months to repair.

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Posted By Kathleen David on May 29, 2015

For those who haven’t been following this, back in Philly, almost a month ago, I fell and tried to slap out only to land hard on my left hand.

I could feel my fingers touch the back of my hand for a brief moment. Nothing is broken as far as we can tell but the bruise has been a thing to behold as has the bruise on my shoulder.

It is healing very slowly. I can now make a fist with my left hand and extend the fingers out without too much pain. I can touch my thumb to all my fingers without pain. So progress is good.

I do have some limitations including the length of time I can sew before it starts to swell and become very uncomfortable.

Today Peter is going into the city for BEA and a panel on Stephen King’s Dark Tower. He has a second panel Sunday.

Next week is NYCC special edition at Pier 94. We will be there both days but unsure as to when.

I am going to restock the larder, which desperately needs it since I haven’t really done much in the past three weeks because we haven’t been around the last three weeks. I need a lot of basic staples as well as the usual fruit and veg.

I need to get some stuff done for DragonCon for programing and get my Art Show sheets done for this year which means I need to nail down what I am going to do both there and for the puppet slam.

Then there is also Shoreleave where I am going to try to get some puppets into the Art Show as well.

There is also clean up from our past three trips that need to be done around here.

I have a few promised puppets that I have to get cracking on as well.

So lots to do and kind of a broken time frame to do it.

I am grateful for things that make my travels easier.

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Posted By Kathleen David on May 28, 2015

With some photos to be added later if I can get Photobucket and my phone to talk to each other.

Getting to Comicpalooza was fine.

The convention itself was rather awesome for so many reasons.

Getting home was a nightmare but we did make it home and we do have our luggage so that’s a win in my book. We also know how to get from Newark Airport to our house during rush hour, which takes a little longer but didn’t have too many traffic jams.

I would like to say thank you to everyone who worked at Comicpalooza with a special shout out to Kellie, Kelli, and Leslie who were our helpers during the show and were very helpful to us all. Another thank you goes to the Hospitality crew who kept us fed and hydrated the entire convention. I love that y’all had plenty of fresh fruit and vegetables at the ready at all time as did Caroline.

We met many interesting people and renewed some old acquaintances. Caroline got to talk to Stan Lee and thank him for creating the Marvel universe so her dad could have a job writing comic books.

My anniversary present was a two page spread from the Mad Hatter Story from Once Upon a Time which was drawn and colored by my long time friend Janet Lee. It is beautiful and tells the tale of the Hatter meeting his wife and their life together. Rather appropriate if you ask me.

I got to talk theater with so many interesting people including Barry Bostwick and Sean Pertwee. I had forgotten that those in the theater have a short hand that we slip into when talking about theater. Felt like putting on a very comfortable sweater.

I was able to spend some time with Larry Dixon and Mercedes Lackey, which I haven’t been able to do in forever it seems. We met back at a ChattaCon way back and have been friends ever since. Larry finally met Peter after so many years. I hadn’t realized that they hadn’t met face to face.

I spent some time with the Simonsons and we caught up on things we hadn’t put on Facebook. That just blows my mind considering how much I enjoyed their work as writers and artists at Marvel back when I was a kid (OK young adult) but I get that feeling a lot at conventions.

Got a chance to talk to Jeff Smith for more than 30 seconds which is a rarity and a treat.

We had dinner with Brad and George Takei and caught up on various parts of our lives. I love spending time with the two of them. I also learned how to say ‘guacamole’ correctly but I still don’t like it.

I was able to have an extended talk with Joel Hodgeson of MST3K fame. He is a fascinating person to converse with. Highly intelligent and quick of wit. I loved watching him with his fans. He took time to make sure that everyone felt like they got their private time with him. Great convention guest and a heck of a nice guy.

I saw various online friends who I rarely see in person. That was nice.

We sold all our books and most of our scripts, which was very nice. Went through 35 copies of Artful in four days and then sold the stock that Barnes and Nobel brought.

Overall a splendid convention and we all had our individual fun as well.

I am grateful for having gone to this convention and the other two as well.

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Posted By Kathleen David on May 20, 2015

This convention schedule we have this month is highly unusual for us. We tend to do one convention a month these days if that. Occasionally there will be two but there is usual a week or two in between them.

This is the first time since before Caroline was born that we have done three in a row and I am remembering why we decided to limit it.

The conventions themselves are fun. Staying at the hotel is fine.

Travel is where I am getting very tired because travel is stress from start to finish. There is no such thing as a leisurely airplane or car ride any more.

I know we will walk away with a couple more good stories and Peter will make a lot of fans happy with his wit and signature.

Caroline will sell artwork and have fun running around and looking at everything in the room or rooms.

I am not bringing puppets to this one or if I do, it’s going to be something like the War Doctor that doesn’t take up much room. No rod puppets, which will allow me to baby my left hand.

My left hand is improving but still hurts a lot. I can see the bruise is starting to heal. I have a feeling this is going to take a while to do so. So carrying things with my left is problematic at best.

This convention I have to worry about luggage and airlines taking care of luggage. Weight limits and the like are running around in my brain.

After this week, we get a week at home and then in three weeks is the NYCC special edition which is in our neck of the woods.

I am grateful for smooth travel.

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