No Strings Attached

Posted By Kathleen David on July 5, 2021

Honestly it has felt like Sunday on repeat for the past couple of days.

It is the adjustment to Caroline being home and done with school rather than her going to school remotely at home.

I figured out that it is Monday July 5^th, 2021. 

I think part of why I was off is because I worked yesterday.

I am not really liking the new interface with MS Word. I might get used to it. But right now it feels like the latest version of Clippie.

There is a word I am hearing more and more from both people and the media which is burnout. The use of the word doesn’t seem to be specific.

The actual meaning of the word in terms of people is Burnout: a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by excessive and prolonged stress. It occurs when you feel overwhelmed, emotionally drained, and unable to meet constant demands.

Considering all we have been through; it is not surprising so many people are feeling burned out. 

We have been dealing with a lot of topics we probably don’t want to think about.

The stress of not knowing what was going to happen next month after month has collectively taken a toll on all of us.

I feel burnout right now. I am trying various techniques to get myself back on track. But I am feeling so tired and mentally drained. 

I am angry at myself because things are getting better but I still can’t get myself back up to speed.

Today Caroline and I are going to recover our craft space so we can get cracking on what we need to do before we leave for Raleigh. 

I must pull it form somewhere. I just hope I have the energy.

I just feel so tired and defeated because I cannot seem to get done what I should be able to do. 

Today I am working from point A to point B and beyond trying to get to the point that I can do what I need to do.

One foot in front of the other.

I am grateful for whatever I get done today.

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Posted By Kathleen David on July 3, 2021

I am on my second cup of coffee so I am assuming the first cup has kicked in or at least my meds have.

I am feeling a little overwhelmed with all I must get done this month.

I need to just make a list and figure out what I am going to get done each day and leave time for life butting in and I figure things out again.

Work is going fine. It does tire me out as we have to work as fast as we can to get our job done. I was warned about this when I took the job. I do like the pace because time flies by. Sometimes too fast. 

Today is cleaning day for the house along with some local errands.

Tomorrow I work but not before the crack of dawn which is around 530 right now.

Caroline and I have two projects we need to get cracking on.

When Peter goes to a convention, especially if I am not with him, he gets me a drawing of Doctor Strange. I have quite a collection from a variety of artists both up and comers and the greats.

He added a piece to my collection that I am going to treasure dearly.

Jim Starlin is an artist of note for a lot of things. One is the creation of Thanos. I have enjoyed his art for years. I met him through Peter, and we became friends. This is one of those things that if you told me as a teenager, I would have thought you were daft.

Peter commissioned Jim to draw Doctor Strange. Jim’s girlfriend Jaime offered to ink it. Jim asked if he could wait until after the convention.

This arrived the other day.  I giggled with happiness upon receiving it and I don’t giggle.

(For the VI: This is a black and white drawing of Classic Dr. Strange.)

It is an amazing rendition of the classic Doctor Strange. I will treasure it always.

The cats had another round of kitty politics which ended with the pecking order being the same. Fig is the alpha still.

Need to get started on the day.

Take care of yourself and give yourself a hug from me.

I am grateful for amazing art.

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Posted By Kathleen David on June 28, 2021

Caroline has her prom on Monday, graduated on Thursday, and went to Pride in NYC on Sunday. 

I worked four days in a row.

Shana, Caroline’s eldest sister, came up from Florida and Beth, Peter’s sister and Em, Beth’s daughter all came to town for the graduation.

Many other members from both sides of the family watched via the electronic link.

The phrase “It takes a village” was never so true for this year’s senior prom. There was a point earlier this year that prom was not going to happen.  With all the COVID restrictions and the unknown of vaccines and how many of the senior class would be vaccinated. 

The village stepped up to the task of giving the senior class a prom to remember. 

They shut off part of the street and set up tables, a dance floor, games, and other fun activities for the prom goers.

The local theater created a red carpet for the seniors and their dates to walk down. They had mocktails and appetizers in the lobby.

A couple of local restaurants, that are normally closed on Monday, opened their kitchens and brought on their cooking staff to make the dinner which received high marks from the kids.

They had a police and fire escort from the high school to the village. 

The local government worked very closely with the high school to get permits in order and make sure they had what they needed.

Caroline had a blast along with her friends.

Wednesday Shana arrived. It was so great to see her and be able to hug her. We took her out to our favorite sushi restaurant Mizu in Bayport. Caroline was so happy to spend time with Shana and catch up in person.

Thursday we were joined by Beth and Em. Because of COVID, only two tickets were allowed per family. Shana and I went. Peter’s thinking is that, for him, it was his fourth daughter to walk. For me it was my only and only bio child and Shana came all the way up from Florida to witness the event.

We had a celebratory lunch at our favorite seafood place Popei’s Clam Bar. It was nice to just be silly with each other and catch up on the past year in person. It felt closer to our previous normal more than anything so far.

We had great weather for the ceremony.  Low humidity and a lovely breeze that later became rather chilly. I picked a good spot on the aisle and was able to get some photos and videos of Caroline walking. My family got some decent screenshots of Caroline getting her diploma along with two certificates of merit and proof that it was a regents’ diploma. 

Friday we said our good-byes to Beth and Em.

Saturday was a family day.

Sunday, Caroline went with a number of friends into NYC for Pride. They had a lot of fun. Caroline was wearing her “Mom . . .Dad, I’m Gaelic” t-shirt. Caroline showed them her favorite Japanese bookstore. It was a full day for her.

Today is her first day of summer vacation. She is recovering from all the walking she did the past week including walking in heels for an entire evening.

I told her to take it slow and give herself some time to process the past week.

I am doing the same. I have mixed feelings about this past week. I am super proud of Caroline and all her achievements. This is a milestone for both of us. I am going to be an empty nester this fall, and I am dealing with that. I will miss having her around, but I know that she needs to spread her wings and fly.

I am grateful for Caroline finishing high school.

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Posted By Kathleen David on June 24, 2021

Today Caroline graduates from High School.

This is a big step in her life.

Due to Covid, there are only two people allowed to. physically be at her graduation so Shana, her eldest sister, and I will be attending physically. While her family will watch on Facebook Watch.

Her aunt Beth and cousin Emily came to join us for the festivities as well. 

It is nice seeing people in person again.

I am grateful that we made it to this day.

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Posted By Kathleen David on June 19, 2021

One of my favorite television shows, which will surprise no one who knows me, is Doctor Who.

In the episode “Blink”, which has put people off of Angel Statues, the Doctor tries to explain to Sally Sparrow that time is not a line but something else

“People assume that time is a strict progression from cause to effect, but actually from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint, it’s more like a big ball of wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey stuff.” 

I thought about this as Caroline attended her last day of school in the school. They have decided to do some remote learning for the next two weeks. 

It seems to me like yesterday I was taking her to the bus stop for the first time.

(For the VI: This is Caroline age 5 and me walking to the school bus for her first day of Kindergarten. She is on the right wearing a blue dress, holding her green Tinkerbell lunch box, and wearing her green Tinkerbell backpack)

But 13 years have passed since that photo and next week Caroline matriculates from high school to College.

This is the last day of physically going to school.

(For the VI: Caroline under the tree in the front yard. She has her hair pulled back. She is wearing a white shirt with a black vest, a back leather skirt, and laced up black leather boots.)

Here’s the funny thing that people have noticed on Facebook. Look at my face from 13 years ago and her face now. Caroline and I agree that it’s kinda spooky how much we look alike but we are pleased that we do.

This year was Peter and my twentieth wedding anniversary. That is a good while to be married and I am hoping we make it to forty and beyond. It does seem just like it was yesterday I can recall a lot about that day from my mother being at the backdoor with a cup of coffee for Jeff who did my hair. I remember my father’s arm trembling when he walked me down the aisle. I remember the origins of the joke “must be the new bride smell”. 

I can remember getting my letter from the Yale School of Drama saying I was accepted into the stage management program. Doesn’t seem that long ago but it was thirty years ago.

I will always remember the look of pure happiness on Caroline’s face as she showed me the email accepting her into the Animation, Interactive media, and Game design program at the Fashion Institute of Technology which is her dream school.

Two years ago. I lost one of my best friends in the world due to cancer. Angelo will always have a place in my heart. He was my brother from another mother. Angelo, Jeff, and I had a lot of history with each other. There were times we wouldn’t see each other for a while but we always picked-up like it was last week rather than six months ago. Those kinds of friendships are rare indeed.

But it also seems like the other day that he was slitting my throat for a test run of a special effect he was working on. Or building the costume and make up for Beauty and the Beast with me as Vincent. We are talking the Ron Perlman/Linda Hamilton version. We did a lot of things together and have lots of fun tales to tell about them.

I know that time is linear, but it is not linear in my head. Thoughts cascade onto other thoughts as I remember the past and hope for the future.

I am grateful for the time I have spent with loved ones.

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