No Strings Attached

Posted By Kathleen David on March 8, 2018

A lot of us who know Stan Lee have been worried about him recently. Since the premiere of Black Panther, he really hasn’t been seen or heard from. We know he was in the hospital but since he came back home, no one I know has been able to go by and see him. And there have been a number of people that I know have been friends with Stan for years who have been unable to visit him.

One of those people is Max who has been Stan’s right hand man at conventions for going on 15 years now. They have been business partners and good friends for a long time. When I observe Max with Stan is feels more like father and son rather than just business partners.

I go to a lot of conventions with Peter. There are some conventions that have figured out that I am another resource that can be used on panels and the like. Other conventions, I am basically Peter’s support system and that’s OK too. When I am support system, I have more time to observe what is going on around the convention so I do so.

I have seen a lot. I have seen actors and their handlers deal with some fans that have seriously stepped over the line. I have seen creators listen to fans for longer than should be allowed with great patience. I have seen fans behave both badly and well. And in all this is the handler who helps the talent during autographing and their other activities during the convention. It is the handler that gets yelled at when someone is upset with the situation. They deflect for their clients.

Over the years I have seen Stan and Max at conventions. I have watched Max deal with all kinds of things that were thrown at him and some of those things have been doozies. And in all of those cases, he put Stan’s interests first. He was there for Stan first and foremost. This did cause some clashes and bad feelings but you respected the hëll out of Max because he stood his ground when it came to Stan’s wellbeing. And as I watched Max, the more I respected him and knew that Stan was in good hands.

Max made sure that Stan had time to rest between his activities and a place to do so. Over the years that went to the green room where he was keep people from bothering Stan so Stan could catch his breath to a more private area allowing Stan to not have to deal with the number of people who wanted to interact with him in the Green Room. It didn’t mean Stan was isolated but rather Stan could choose how and who he wanted to interact people. Much less stress on Stan.

Max knows Stan and has stepped in and cut off autographing when he has seen Stan start to flag. He has been willing to be the ‘bad guy who wouldn’t let me see Stan Lee’ for years so Stan can stay everyone’s favorite uncle. He doesn’t let Stan be abused or pushed into thing that are not in Stan’s best interest.

His priority has been and will always be Stan’s best interests.

I have seen Max make sure that people who might not have the opportunity to meet Stan like little kids and young adults are given the chance. He has helped fulfill people’s ‘Make a Wish’ wishes. He has given things for the convention charity auction.

He is a good businessman and had helped Stan build his brand so it is a solid brand that is beloved to the fans.

Stan has a lot of stuff. We think we have stuff around here, but Stan Lee leaves our collection in the dust. There is artwork from things he has written. Fan art from famous artists both in and out of the comic book industry. Props from films that would not have been made if not for Stan’s body of work. Toys and posters that are signed to Stan.

Max had a bright idea to create the Stan Lee museum with these artifacts. It is a traveling exhibit with lots of interesting things for the fans to look at and oooo and ah over. I have seen it and can attest that the exhibit is really cool. A lot of fans can and have said the same time. It’s a neat free bonus at conventions.

I am grateful everything Max has done for Stan.

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Posted By Kathleen David on March 6, 2018

Sometimes the simple solution is best.

There are times in a project I know that I need to step back and strip down what I am trying to do.

I can get caught up on details that are not necessary for the look of what I am trying to make but I will know if they are there or not.

I use to make buttonholes for shirts that I put on puppets until I figured out that the outfit they were wearing was the only outfit they were ever going to wear. Easier to sew the buttons on without buttonholes.

There are times that I finished the seams in puppet clothing esp. if it will be seen but overall I have found puppets don’t give a rip about unfinished seams.

Unless I have to make the collar of a puppet shirt stand up, I don’t put interfacing in the collars anymore. Ditto on the cuffs. If I am going for a look that needs some more support, then I will take the extra time for something that doesn’t make that much of a difference to the look of the puppet.

Sometimes gluing works better than sewing and looks better too. Again I have to weigh the look verse the practicality of the puppet.

I do build my puppets to be used. They are re-enforced at points that tend to breakdown over time. That takes more time but I know it will be a good thing in the long term. I don’t skimp on those steps.

The Doctor Strange movie version puppet is a fine example of over thinking it then pulling back to something reasonable. I am, however proud of the Eye of Aggamotto that lights up. It was a pain to make and when I do it again, I have ideas how to simplify it and still make it look cool. The cloak I would pretty much remake it the same way except get the pleats going the correct way the first time. The sling ring would be redone now that I actually know what it looks like rather than my guess from photos but what I came up with worked to a degree.

<a href=”http://s561.photobucket.com/user/Puppetmaker40/media/Dr%20Strange%20Reference%20Photos/Doctor-Strange-2_zps0pqfjrvw.jpg.html” target=”_blank”><img src=”http://i561.photobucket.com/albums/ss54/Puppetmaker40/Dr%20Strange%20Reference%20Photos/Doctor-Strange-2_zps0pqfjrvw.jpg” border=”0″ alt=” photo Doctor-Strange-2_zps0pqfjrvw.jpg”/></a>

(for the VI: Photo of Benedict Cumberbatch as Dr. Strange. Wearing a red cape, a blue outfit with the eye of Aggamotto)

<a href=”http://s561.photobucket.com/user/Puppetmaker40/media/IMG_5675_zpsfymolfjz.jpg.html” target=”_blank”><img src=”http://i561.photobucket.com/albums/ss54/Puppetmaker40/IMG_5675_zpsfymolfjz.jpg” border=”0″ alt=” photo IMG_5675_zpsfymolfjz.jpg”/></a>

(For the VI: Dr. Strange the puppet wearing a red cloak, blue outfit with the eye of aggamotto medallion around his neck and a sling ring on his finger)

There is one puppet I made that I did make multiple outfits for and sweated a lot of details on that I am proud that I went to that extent. Not something I am going to do every time. That would be the Chris Parker puppet from Laura Antonio’s very adult series of Marketplace books.

I am now working through two sets of puppets for DragonCon. One will be the art show set and the other the puppetslam set. Both have a lot of detail but I am working hard not to overthink them. I have 6 months to put these together so I know I want to start now. To get it done in time, I will need to strip everything down to it component parts and not overthink things.

I am grateful for the details.

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Posted By Kathleen David on March 5, 2018

Today is my mother’s birthday.

She is a living example of the American Dream. Child of immigrants, she worked hard to educate herself and maker opportunities for herself that got her out of a small town with few opportunities for her. She married my father, persuaded a career, raised four children, and traveled the world.

She was a Girl Scout something that both Caroline and I have been. Caroline likes that she is the 3^rd generation to be a Girl Scout and hopes to have the same opportunity for her daughter(s).

She is a teacher. Even retired she continues to teach people things sometimes without knowing she is doing so. Teaching to her seems just second nature. I learned a lot from her over the years. Something directly like how to make scrambled eggs to the indirect like how to parent.

I get my visual spatial skills from my mom. We can look at the back of a car and at what we have to get into the back of the car and figure out if it is going to fit or not. I have impressed hotel workers all over the country with this ability and taught them a trick or two.

My mad organizational skills come from her too.

She made sure that my brothers, sister and I knew that we were loved and appreciated for who we were. What worked for one child might not work with the others and she recognized this and adjusted accordingly rather than treat us all the same. She knows what motivated us.

She is where I get my appreciation for cooking from scratch. Her Christmas cookies are legendary. She makes amazing bread. Her culinary skills are amazing. I can remember as a child watching Julie Child on PBS with her. Ms. Child’s book on French cooking got one heck of a work out in our house.

She introduced me to mystery books and her favorite authors. Dorothy Sayers remains a favorite of mine.

I would not be the person I am today without her.

Happy Birthday Mom! Hope you and Dad have something special planned for the day.

Caroline drew you a card that I will be putting in the mail today.

Know that we love you and appreciate all that you have done for us over the years.

love,

Your first of four.

I am grateful that My Mom is My Mom.

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Posted By Kathleen David on March 4, 2018

Yet another in a series of frank entries about depression so I am warning for discussion of metal health, self harm, self neglect, and depression.

A friend of mine posted the following in a group I am part of which discusses mental health and fandom among other topics.

Person 1:”Why do you have depression? You have so much to be happy about”

Person 2: “Why do you have depression? You have so many accomplishments”

Person 3: “Why do you have depression? You have so many people who value you”

Depressed Person after hearing why they should not be depressed: “Why do you have asthma? You have so much air you can breathe” 

There are physical symptoms of depression that may be visible from the outside but one would chalk it up to a virus or something besides mental health.

And there is a bit of a disconnect here. People who don’t deal with depression can’t understand what dealing like depression is like. I had been told all kinds of things over my life that I might or would feel when I became pregnant but until I was actually pregnant, it was more academic than reality.

I can give you all kinds of metaphors and similes for how I feel but unless you are in my head, and if so please leave, you really can’t understand. I’m not saying that you cannot sympathize with my problems, but sometimes I need to talk more than I need a pep talk or solutions that are really sweet but don’t work for me.

There are days that I need a list of things I need to do to keep myself moving forward and on some of those days I have to force myself to do things that are good for my health.

There was an article I read entitled “The girl with the dirty hair” and it was one woman’s story of dealing with her severe depression to the point that she didn’t see the point of showering or even putting on clean clothes. On her good days, she would at least change clothes more to conform to societies norms rather than she felt like she would feel better in clean clothes. She was a college student at the time and in a high pressured degree track that many students looked like her because there was so little time to do anything but study.

Over the years I have come to find that I am at my best when I have balance in my life. Not too much stress but a little bit because that motivates me. I may not be happy but I am satisfied with what I have done with my life so far. And even at my darkest of days, there were moments of actually happiness and satisfaction with my life. But they were only moments and, to me, made the dark times worse.

I know I need exercise in my life to maintain my balance. I do best when I can work out on a schedule that allows me to push myself but not hurt myself. There are times that things look bad to me even though rationally I know nothing is seriously wrong that I go on a brisk walk to clear my head and see if I can get some dopamine and endorphins going. Cleaning can do the same thing once the project is done. Before that I just spend time feeling guilty that I have let it get this far or that I haven’t finished the project. Sometimes I just force myself to do it and feel better after I am done.

Part of the problem for me is I can look at what is going on from ‘the outside’ and know that what I am worried about or down on myself about is silly or nonsensical that doesn’t change that I am worried about it. I can get my brain so wrapped on something that it can be hard to let it go. We call it scenarioing around here.

I can tell when I am starting down that dark path and I can tell how far down I am on the path depending on how much I want to turn things around. The further in, the harder it is to turn around.

And I am one of the lucky ones that has support and people I can kvetch to and a pretty spiffy life.

There are so many who don’t.

I am grateful I have the support system that I have.

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Posted By Kathleen David on March 3, 2018

20 years ago today I moved up to Long Island to be with my then boyfriend now husband Peter David.

This is the longest I have been in the same house consistently. Before that it was in the house that my parents own.

20 years is a long time to be in one place. I have gone from girlfriend to fiancé to wife and step-mother to mother.

When I moved up here, it was a serious leap of faith. I really hadn’t much going on in Atlanta. My favorite stage management job went away. The comic book shop job was going nowhere. The museum management team changed and brought in their friends, which I understood but was sad about. One of my best friends had died of cancer. I was at loose ends with, other than family, nothing holding me to Atlanta.

Peter and I had been on a couple of dates. We went to the Marvel Christmas Party together where he introduces me to his friends and colleagues. I have to admit I was internally fangirling a bit but I also ran into people I knew through my time at the comic book store and at conventions. We had been to Disney World together where he took me to the Adventurers’ Club that became ‘our place’ at Disney. We got engaged there. We made friends there that are friends to this day. We had spent time together at conventions.

And we talked or rather messaged each other on the old AOL messaging system. We got to know each other through conversation. We would spend hours online just talking.

But it was still a big step for a variety of reasons.

I packed up my truck and drove up to Long Island, worked on trying to find work as a stage manager with not much luck except at a substitute for vacationing stage managers. I found a job at Borders then the one at Del Rey Books.

We got married and have been happily so for going on 17 years now (May 26^th).

I have a daughter who is thriving here.

I have three lovely stepdaughters who have made me a part of their lives. There are now two grandsons running around that Peter is very proud of.

I have a home that is a home rather than a place to put my stuff until I move on again. The last time I had that feeling was at my folk’s house. I have felt at home elsewhere but it didn’t feel permanent as it does now.

I have a bar where everyone knows my name.

I have my grocery store, which may be a little more of the drive but the produce is so much better than the closer store.

I know where every fabric store/craft shop is in the area and what they are all good for.

I know the people in the neighborhood and the area.

I am comfortable here and believe that I will be here for at least another 20 years if not longer.

I am grateful that I did make that leap and move up here.

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