No Strings Attached

Posted By Kathleen David on October 18, 2021

And that did a lot for my mental health. 

She is happy and bubbly. Rather than dwelling on the past, she is looking towards her future. She has a million things going on in a good way.

We worked on a couple of things. 

We picked pumpkins in the same patch she has been going to for nineteen years. Got some good ones too.

(For the VI: This is Caroline holding an orange pumpkin. She has on a blue shirt and her brown hair is pulled back. She is smiling.)

Traditions can be good or bad, but they are part of our lives.

They can be very comforting.

I have passed onto Caroline some of the traditions I grew up with and we have created our own.

Then there are the in-jokes that come from being a family. Many of those are ‘you had to be there to get it’ but they have meaning to us. “What for did you lock me in the cold cold kitchen?” “Sutter Fusty” “In every generation…A Slayer is born” ‘A chorus of yums ran ‘round the table.” “Life, don’t take to me about life” 

Our personal history is just that personal. No one else has lived this life nor will anyone live it again.

That individual experience makes us who we are.

I could play woulda, shoulda, coulda but it doesn’t get me anywhere.

If my life hadn’t played out the way it did, I would not be where I am now with all the adventures I have had over the years.

Are there opportunities and things I could have done? Sure but each of those would have put me on a different path. Most of them would not have led to Caroline.

I tell people that there are many things I could say about my personal history. Boring is not one of them. I hope when people look back on my life after I am gone, they will say that I had a life well worth lived.

I got my review for being at my job for a year. They like me. They really like me.  I have a few things still to learn but overall, they are very pleased with my performance. I feel very comfortable there. Unlike Borders where the managers always seemed to be in a panic and we seem to go from crises to crises, all the managers are approachable and do take problems or issues seriously. It is a good fit for both the company and me.

And that makes me feel better.

I am repairing some puppets for a show. It is nice to be able to sort out quickly how they need to repair and improved on to make the puppets more solid. This comes from almost forty years of repairing puppets. I can look and figure out several solutions then discard them until I have my best option.

In some ways I feel that my brain is waking up and moving faster again. I have been in neutral for a while. I find this frustrating. I also know that if I push, things don’t go as well. If I have to, then I will but I am not as happy with the results.

I am enjoying my brain right now. It is working at a good speed and I am not spending time worrying about things.

I am grateful for a working brain.

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