Love and Burdens to Bear
Posted By Kathleen David on March 6, 2021
I saw the following on Facebook today on my friend Helen’s page. It is attributed to the user name thatwitchreven.
I, personally wanna see less ‘you are not a burden/it’s not work to love you’ and more ‘you are worth the work it takes to love you.’ I know I’m a burden sometimes. That isn’t such a terrible thing! Humans are strong. We carry burdens. It is work for me to be there for my friends, but it’s work I’m willing to do.
We need to acknowledge this because pretending love isn’t work will never make people like me feel less guilty for accepting love. We need to talk about it, so people don’t feel bad for having boundaries and not always being up to do the work. We need to accept it so we can properly appreciate what others do for us and what we do for them.
Yes, it does take work to love. Guess what? You still deserve love and you deserve people who are willing to do the work to love you. It doesn’t make you bad. All love take work and everyone is worth it.
You have heard “the toughest job you’ll ever love”, which was the catch phrase for the Peace Corps.
I think parenting falls into this category. One has to work to be a good parent. There is sacrifice and compromise. I put the needs of my children before my own. I have to set limits and push to show them their potential. It takes work but it is so worth it.
Marriage takes a lot of work. Falling in love can be easy but nurturing the relationship is the challenge. There are give and takes. There are things that aren’t going to change, and we learn to live with those. There are things that change over time and we adjust to those. There are the curveballs that can test a relationship and how we respond can strength our bond.
Sometimes I can be a very hard person to live with. I get into one of my deep funks and I am grouchy and sensitive to everything that is going on around me. There are times I don’t recognize what I am doing but Peter knows and gives me my space to get my head straight.
I know intellectually that I am deserving of love. Emotionally it can be a bit of a rollercoaster. There are times that I feel I don’t deserve love. I wonder what my family and friends see in me. I feel like I am fooling them into loving me and I feel like a burden to them.
I am more than willing to put in the work on the various relationships I have. They are important to me. I hope that others are willing to work with me.
I am grateful for all the love in my life.
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