No Strings Attached

Posted By Kathleen David on September 27, 2020

I am not sugar coating this entry. 

This came out of something that happened to a friend who was told that they should be able to do more when they are in their mania phase of their bipolar disorder because that’s how it works.

It got me to thinking how mental health is perceived by the general populous.

First that is not how it works. That is not how any of it works.

Bipolar disorder is a mental disorder that causes unusual shifts in mood, energy, activity levels, concentration, and the ability to carry out day-to-day tasks.

It uses to be called manic-depressive illness. 

The assumption by many is that people who have this are either really sad or really happy and have no in between. 

Mania is not happiness, although some people do feel a euphoria in that phase. A manic episode is characterized by a sustained period of abnormally elevated or irritable mood, intense energy, racing thoughts, and other extreme and exaggerated behaviors. 

It can lead to bad decisions and destructive behavior.

Another fallacy about general depression is that one is sad all the time.

Yeah, I did feel sad at some points but more often I felt numb.

Numb as I didn’t really feel anything. I didn’t care about things that I previous cared about.

Why take care of myself when I didn’t feel like me. Why be concerned about my physical being when I don’t feel connected to me. Why worry about what I put into my body when it didn’t feel like part of me.

The numb feeling is worse than feeling sad and hopeless because then you are at least feeling something.

Anxiety is something else that is misunderstood.

When you live with anxiety, your flight or fight response is in overdrive and on all the time. 

This serious affects your body. There is damage done and the longer you are in this vicious circle, the more it can damage your body.

Stress can kill you. A body under stress can breakdown in all kinds of ways. A body under a stress for a long period of time can destroy physical health.

Trying to get that under control can be very hard to do.

I have worked hard getting my mental health in order and it has not been easy.

I didn’t even realize how far down the pit of despair I had fallen until I finally got some help after totally losing it in my Doctor’s office. 

I was being strong I was feeling numb but not recognizing it for what it was.

My creative output had gone to a minimal amount. Yeah, I could get things done but usually under a deadline and not as well as I would like.

I can put on a brave face. I have learned how to do that all too well. My public mask did not reflect what was going on with me.

Now I am under a Doctor’s supervision and I feel again.

I am glad that this happened before COVID. I have no idea how I would be doing without the help I have now.

It is OK to ask for help. It is OK to talk to your Doctor about your mental health as it does affect your physical health more than we know. It is OK to feel anxious but don’t let it go on too long. 

Right now we are all under stress and there will be consequences that will follow us the rest of our lives.

But if we address what is going on with our mental health, I think we stand a better chance of getting through this.

I am grateful for everyone who has helped me with my mental health.

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