No Strings Attached

Kathleen David's weblog

Artificial Pressure

Posted By on February 13, 2020

Pressure is part of life. There is pressure holding us on this planet. There is air pressure all around us. There are the pressures that society puts on us and pressures we put on ourselves.

Then there is a pressure created artificially by companies through marketing to sell products to consumers.

Valentine’s Day is one of those holidays. 

The feast of St. Valentine was a replacement for the pagan holiday of Lupercalia which was an ancient pastoral festival observed in Rome to avert evil spirits and purify the city thus bring in health and fertility. It was done by Pope Gelasius I as the end of the 5th century. The romantic aspects came in around the 14th century thank you Chaucer. 

The first commercial Valentine’s cards were created in the mid 1800s and it has snowballed from there.

Giving cards at school was a popularity contest. We made our paper bag or box mailbox and put them on our desks then went around and put the cards in them. Some parents made us give everyone a card and others allowed their children to pick and choose. It was a physical manifestation of your standing in the class. 

By the time that Caroline was giving valentine cards, the rule was everyone got a card if someone brought them in.

As I have grown up, Valentine’s Day has become a holiday with a lot of pressure and it really shouldn’t.

First part is do you have someone in your life as your Valentine?

That makes a lot of people feel bad because they are single. There is nothing wrong with being single. I was single for the most part on Valentine’s Day until I got together with Peter. There are a number of businesses promoting speed dating on Valentine’s Day or the various matchmaking apps promoting their services. 

Second what are you going to do to knock their socks off?

There are cards and candy and flowers and stuff animals and…well there are a lot of things created for that specific day. Jewelry stories promote the idea that given expensive jewelry show how much you love the other person. 

Valentine’s day is also a big day for restaurants. Many have specific things that they only do that day. 

This year I saw my first car commercial promoting the idea of giving your loved one a car.

I don’t like the implication that you have to buy something or do something specific to prove your love. 

I don’t like the implication that if you don’t have a significant other, you are less than others on Valentine’s Day.

You are not less if you are single. You are not less if you can’t give expensive gifts.

The pressure put on us is artificial and a social construct dating back to the 14th century.

If you want to celebrate Valentine’s Day, go for it. I hope the day is everything you wanted and more.

If you don’t, there is no shame in that. You do you.

I am grateful for not having relationship pressure. 


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