GHD/BHD
Posted By Kathleen David on December 6, 2018
I can tell by the time I feed the cats what kind of hand day I am going to have.
In the morning I give the cats their wet food for the day. The ritual starts at the top of the stairs as soon as I leave the bedroom. Inky is waiting for me and I must pet her before she goes bounding downstairs announcing to the other cats that I am on the way day.
I let Inky into the kitchen where I feed them first because the other two can bully her away from her portion. It is there that I find out how well my hands are working. If I can take the foil pouch, tear it open, and put the food on the plate, that’s a good hand day. If it takes me three times as long to do the same activity, then it is a bad hand day.
I try not to let that first activity I do influence the rest of my day but more to give me an idea of where I am at that point. If the hands are not cooperating, I give myself more time for certain activities and am more careful about picking up fragile objects like glass glasses and plates.
And it isn’t that things won’t flip at some point during the day. I have had bad mornings with excellent afternoons and the reverse.
My second cue as to what kind of hand day really has to do with how I feel. If I feel like I am vibrating from within, not a great day. If I feel more grounded, good day. I do have some warning when things change because I feel a hum through out. Kind of how fluorescent light ballast sounds when it starts to breakdown. (Sidenote: We watch the Good Doctor and I had to sympathize with the main character Sean Murphy in the last episode. He is autistic but within that comes his superpowers of being able to figure out what is going on with a patient. However he has problems with sensory input. He is in the ER and there is one fluorescent light that is humming and really bothering him. No one else can hear it at this point but he can and it is driving him nuts. I know that sound and it drives me to distraction too. I have a hard time being in a room with fluorescent lights that are humming. I tend to try to avoid them. So yes they can be THAT annoying.) The worse the hum, the more I am shaking.
I have been informed that if I reduce stress, it might help with the over all problem. Might help. I have been trying to do that and figuring out ways to recognize when I am getting stressed.
This morning was a good day. I was able to feed the cats with normal effort. Now they are sacked out on the couch taking a nap.
Since it started out well, it gives me what I need to do today which are things that I need a steady hand for. I use it when I have it.
Again this is a live annoying problem rather than a life threating problem. I deal with it and move on. And no matter how bad the day gets I can tell myself with confidence, I don’t have cancer.
I am grateful for the good hand days.
This is pretty much me except substitute “foot” for “hand.” I actually call them Good Foot Days and Bad Foot Days. It all depends on whether my calves are acting up. Remember that NYCC I missed about 5-6 years back? Bad Foot Day. That was before I learnt about my plantar fasciitis so I didn’t know how to mitigate things. Nowadays I have braces, a cane, all sorts of little tricks to make the BFDs more bearable.