No Strings Attached

Posted By Kathleen David on May 18, 2012

But first here is a picture of Caroline and her teacher after she received her green belt.

(for the VI: This is Caroline on the left and her teacher on the right. Her teacher is kneeling next to her. They are standing in the school which has red mats on the floor and mirrors behind them. Caroline is wearing black pants and shirt. She has her orange belt across her shoulders and her brand new green belt around her waist. Her teacher is wearing a black shirt and black pants as well.)

Don’t Wanna is a phrase that parents hear from their children and everybody hears in their heads when something comes up that is not what they wanted to do.

Yesterday I read several articles on several different topics that led me to thinking about the phrase “don’t wanna” and my internal little voice that says it before my other more responsible voice reminds me of why I have to do whatever it is.

One article in the Wall Street Journal, and I apologies for not giving credit to the blog I read about it in, talked about a new form of therapy where the therapist uses tough love, well therapy, and doesn’t let their client continue to whine on a topic that they seem stuck on. The idea is to get the client to either figure out a solution or just let the subject go. Solve it or forget about talking about it because you are going rapidly nowhere on it. This sort of whining is more an attention getter than really wanting a solution to the problem at hand.

The other term that was used is chronic complaining. We also know or knew someone who does or did that. I will add to that the chronic drama seeker. There are some people who do have the worst luck in the world and things do happen in sequence that prove to us that they have the worst luck in the world. However there are some that seek the drama. They make choices conscious or unconscious in their lives that lead to drama. They thrive on it and the attention it brings. It makes them feel better about their lives.

I will admit to occasionally letting the “don’t wanna” voice win. But for the most part I manage to be an adult about it and deal with whatever comes along that I really would prefer not to deal with. I know that if I don’t deal with it, it is not going to get done. Like exercise, I get ready to go to the gym and my inner voice is giving me all these other things I think I should be doing or would rather do. Sometime, I am sorry to say, it wins and I don’t go but I am getting better at taking some time for myself and exercising. I have learned that I feel better after I workout. Today I am taking Caroline to the Y for family swim. I know when the time period that I can take her is and how long it is. So I plan that into my day. I keep myself honest by telling Caroline that we are doing this and this way I can’t back out unless something else really does take precedent.

There are times that I don’t wanna deal with our cats. But they trust me to take care of them and their needs. So I make sure they have food and water and clean litter. I clean up after them and make sure they get pets and scritches.

Another article brought to my attention by my father is about blogging entitled “Blogging is not at Thing, but an Attitude” by Jim Dalrymple. It was more about the idea of media companies trying to create blogs and content and not understanding why people don’t like/read them. He talks about the flow of a blog and the readership being able to tell authentic from serious scripted. Which makes sense to me. I really just write here what I want to write or what is on my mind. I started my web log so that my parents, siblings, and friends could keep up with what was going on in my life and it sort of evolved from there. Also since I recently had a Kung-Fu class which was all about getting things to flow, it hit a point of resonance with me. I am still working on the first form as my classmates are way ahead of me which is frustrating but something that I want to work on except when I don’t wanna.

Right now I have a list of things that need to be done and I really should go do them but it is such a lovely morning I think I am going to take a little time for me before tackling them. So that I can send my don’t wanna voice on vacation for the rest of the day by reminding it that I gave it a break this morning.

I am grateful to my parents for teaching me that there are things you have to do even though you don’t wanna.

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Posted By Kathleen David on May 17, 2012

Yesterday Caroline earned her green belt in Kung-Fu. She has worked very hard for this and loves her teachers and her classes. Now she is in the next level class for her discipline. I am very proud of her.

I am also taking lessons and am at the point that I am relearning how to walk and move my hands at the same time (the first form of Tai Chi) and am remembering how uncoordinated I can be. So it is practice, practice, practice time for me. I have learned a lot in my head but I now have to get my body to move and flow correctly.

Peter’s novelization of Battleship is out and there are a couple reviews of the novel and the movie. We will go see it when it comes out. I am interested in the final cut of this.

Today is my volunteer day at Caroline’s school. Ariel will probably be going with me. We need to start getting the library ready for the summer. That and figure out what we are going to do for the puppet show this year for field day.

Both the Lakers and the Heat really need to get their act together or they are going to find themselves benched and watching the rest of the playoffs rather than playing them. I know for many the Heat is the team to hate because of their boasting but it would be nice to give them a chance at the finals. That team looks so good on paper but they just can’t seem to get it done.

Mets are doing OK and the same with the Braves. The Orioles are doing pretty well for themselves.

Need to work though the weekend. There were a few complications added to the schedule so I need to rethink what we are doing.

Fig loved her human. She is curled up next to Caroline with one paw on Caroline’s leg. Fig is in the living room when Caroline gets home from school. Fig may vanish most of the day but she makes sure she is there for her human.

I am grateful for getting things done in a timely fashion.

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Posted By Kathleen David on May 16, 2012

I figured out the other day that I have been going to conventions for almost 35 years. When I was young, it was limited to conventions in Atlanta which there were a few. The big media at the time was the Atlanta Fantasy Fair, which was our big convention of the year. There were also a number of other conventions both book and media related and there was the Atlanta Science Fiction something or other which was an off shoot of another Science Fiction Club. (I am sure someone reading this will remember the real name of the group.) Before the Internet there were things called APAs (Amateur Press Association) that allowed fans of something to share their thoughts and ideas about a subject.

At the time the literary convention and the media convention were two different beasts. And there was an attitude of fans against the mundanes a lot of the time. We also had the older fans which fell into two distinct groups which some were very welcoming of the next generation and encourage younger people that weren’t just the children of the older fans to participate and the “get off of my lawn” group which really drove me up a tree. The GOOMLies didn’t seem to want anything to change from when they first discovered fandom and anything that might threating their version of FIAWOL (fandom is a way of life) and they made it hard for some conventions to survive. In some cases by the time they could be convinced that they needed to expand their horizons, it was already too late and a number of venerable conventions fell by the wayside because of the GOOMLies.

Within the media conventions there seemed to be a little more understanding of other fandoms and they tended to be a little more inclusive. However there were media GOOMLies as well that wanted their conventions to only be about a series that hadn’t had an episode in quite a while. I remember a Star Trek group rejected the idea of having some Star Wars stuff at their convention. That convention lasted longer than I expected but then we had a couple of new Star Trek series for them for mine but eventually it did go the way of the dodo.

There were a couple of conventions that tried to be all things to all people. Some of these worked (DragonCon) and some of them failed. There were some in fights between the conventions for guests and marketing which led to some people not being able to go to conventions that they previously enjoyed because they were assumed in the other camp. This got to the point of silly and then imploded. Some conventions stated what they were for (San Diego Comic Con) but they also were willing to branch out a bit and appeal to the younger fan. San Diego Comic Con for a long time was the only place I could find things based on Japanese animation that I loved.

I enjoy all forms of conventions in the things I am interested in. I can fluently speak all kinds of geek and am comfortable with various types of conventions. I never understood why a convention had to be this or that when you had a young base interested in that and could potentially be the next generation to run the convention. Especially when it overlaps something that is of interest to the people who do come to that convention. There is only so far you can go with the children of fandom, you have to find the new blood to bring in or the GOOMLies win in a very sad way.

The advent of the Internet changed the face of fandom and conventions forever but that is an essay for another day.

I am grateful for all the conventions I have been to through the years and all the friends I have made through them.

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Posted By Kathleen David on May 15, 2012

What do you want to know about my work?

I really am interested in what people find interesting about crafty Tuesday (or if anyone is reading this at all)

So ask me a question and I will, if I can, answer it.

I am grateful for growing plants.

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Posted By Kathleen David on May 14, 2012

Setting up for the rest of the week

Tuesday will be Crafty Tuesday
Wednesday will be something about Conventions
The rest of the week will be what it will be.

The weekend was a little hectic but nice over all. Saturday I got all the stuff that wandered into Ariel’s room and was not Ariel’s out of Ariel’s room. Caroline and I went out for a Mommy and Daughter lunch. Sunday we went to our favorite breakfast place then up to Connecticut to visit with my in-laws. We had a nice lunch at a diner they like a lot. Caroline got to give her Grandma a dahlia plant, which Grandma Dalia felt very touched by. After that we drove to Sacred Heart to pick up Ariel from college and her stuff since she is with us for the summer. We got home in time to watch the season enders for Once Upon a Time and Desperate Housewives. Really liked the very ending of Desperate Housewives and wish the cast and crew the best in their next endeavors.

Today I have to drive Ariel to a job interview a ways away. It is for a summer camp. Caroline has Kung-Fu during which I plan to do a short shop for those things that we need at the grocery store there. It is the last night of my bowling league and we are in the middle and I would like to stay there.

Tomorrow is starting to shape up with various things and activities that need to be done. And that’s what the rest of the week looks like.

I am grateful for the minimal traffic we had to deal with coming back and the Google Map app on the iPad along with our GPS which allowed us to get around the traffic crunches that were in our path.

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Posted By Kathleen David on May 13, 2012

Happy Mother’s Day to all the Moms out there.

Mother’s Day is when many remember that sometimes Mom likes out of the kitchen or a meal cooked in her kitchen with clean-up of the kitchen to follow.

I am going up to Connecticut to see my in-laws and pick up Ariel from college since she will be home for the summer. So I am doing mom-things today.

Being a Mom is important to me. I want to be a good Mom. I try to set an example for my daughter by word and deed. I help her with things that I can and find ways for her to help herself in other things.

I took my examples of how to Mom from my Mom who raised four productive citizens for her country.

So hug a Mom today. They do so much for us and teach us a lot.

I am grateful that I am such a Mom

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Posted By Kathleen David on May 12, 2012

There will be spoilers behind the cut and allowed in the comments.

To preface this a bit: I am a Dark Shadows Fan. Barnabas was my first vampire, as it were. I watched my way through the original series and saw the Ben Cross series. Dark Shadows was a soap opera, first and foremost, but it was a gothic soap opera which had warped a lot of little minds in its day. Many of those minds are now making the media that is warping the youth of today. I am pretty well versed in the whole Dark Shadows rather complicated universe although I get a little shaky on all the timelines towards the end. At least the characters got a happy ending kinda sorta even though it was a paralleled timeline.

Yesterday Peter, Caroline and I went to see Dark Shadows after reading the parental guides that we usually read to get an idea of why it was PG-13. Part of it had to do with the number of people smoking which, by count, would have gone R if there had been one more person lighting up. There is some swearing but nothing extreme. And some sexual content which was the sticking point, but after some more reading it was mostly innuendo and one scene with Barnabas and Angelique that is so absurd and you can’t really tell what is going on unless you know what is going on. There is also one quick scene with Julia Hoffman with an implication but again if you don’t know what is going on, nothing is going on.

Short version is that I liked it.

Longer Version

Both Tim Burton and Johnny Depp have stated that they are old school Dark Shadows fans and it shows in this film. This is like the House of Dark Shadows through the lens of Tim Burton, which makes it stranger as it goes along but it worked for me.

Casting is solid throughout. Depp is channeling Frid. It is the Barnabas that I know and love. Much care is given to the costumes for Barnabas to reflect back to the TV series. I counted about three outfits that looked right out of the TV show or the House of Dark Shadows gilm or seen on the cover of the books (which I have a complete set of). The cane is a little different but they are going for the silver and vampires don’t mix trope. That it looks scrimshaw or an ivory carving makes sense for the period that the cane is from. The famed ring on his hand is there as well.

Michelle Pheiffer , who I think is a brilliant actress, surprised me in this one with how good her performance is. Jackie Earl Haley was great fun as Willie Loomis. And Willie didn’t annoy me as much as he did in the TV series. Almost didn’t recognize Jonny Lee Miller (Eli Stone) as Roger Collins. It seems to me that Roger was the character that Burton and the screenwriter didn’t really know what to do with, which is a shame since they had such a strong actor in the role. Chloe Grace Moretz does a dynamite job as Carolyn.

The story itself had to be written for those who haven’t a clue what Dark Shadows is and those who know it too well and, for the most part, it succeeds. The characters are introduced, the situation is wound up and we are taken through the narrative. But this is a Tim Burton movie so there are some weird touches that work yet also remind you that this is Tim Burton’s world that is being played in.

The commercials make it look like a campy laugh riot. Not in the least. There is humor and that macabre sense of the weird that is so Burton. But there is a story being told and it is not pretty at times. So yet again the commercials and the film are two different animals.

So overall good film both as the Burton film and Dan Curtis’ Dark Shadows. Would see again without regret.

(more…)

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Posted By Kathleen David on May 11, 2012

Well the plans for the weekend seem to be set now I have to fit everything else in those little cracks of time I have to get everything done along with all the usual stuff. I can do it but it is going to be a bit of a pain along the way.

Today I swear my house is attacking me. I have opened up three cabinets and stuff has leaped out at me. Along with the cats doing their level best to knock things over today. Right now they are all napping but I think that they are revving up for round 2. Except for Stalin who is curled up at my hip, they have all found patches of sunlight to bask in.

Well I should get to what needs to be done before Sunday.

I am grateful for my genetic ability for being able to see spatial relations.

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Posted By Kathleen David on May 10, 2012

For the new readers, RTBTCKI is Random Thoughts Before the Coffee Kicks In and is a series of entries that is what it says

Caroline was home from school yesterday with a fever. I think I poked the evil eye on that one having commented last week when I pointed out to her that she hadn’t been sick this school year. I think she picked it up at the convention over the weekend. The point between exposure and symptoms is about right.

My tinnitus is acting up which means I have to watch myself and not clench my jaw, which happens when my ears are ringing. So I consciously have to relax my jaw. My ears are hurting too. I am trying my usual over the counter medicine to see if maybe it is sinus related but doggone they hurt.

The rain is ending and the skies are showing signs of lighting so I am figuring that the clouds are on the way out. It is shaping up to be a nice day.

Most of my day will be at Caroline’s school. They are having their annual plant sale right before Mother’s Day and I am helping this afternoon.

Ariel comes home this weekend. She is still job searching. Trying to find something for the summer and just the summer is hard these days. She doesn’t drive so that adds some complications to the matter.

The Mets have won more than two in a row. Last year we called two in a row a streak. They seem to be doing a little better than that this year. A number of teams are doing better than their projected place in the sports pundits’ lists. It is shaping up to be an interesting season.

The Rangers and the Capitals are going for a game 7 for all the marbles. The Stanley Cup Playoffs have been exciting this year. No real lopsided matches and a lot of overtime.

Someone asked my opinion as an Equity Stage Manager how realistic did I think Smash is. Pretty realistic including all the drama. I think after the season is over I am going to do a review from a stage manager’s point of view. I can say that I have known in my career someone who can be matched to each character in the show.

It looks very green outside this morning.

Here is what I said on Facebook yesterday after hearing about President Obama speaking up for marriage equality.

I went to George and Brad Takei’s wedding. The skies didn’t open up and rain fire. Cat and Dogs are still not living together. They had been together for 21 years before they were allowed to get married. Their relationship was old enough to drink. And they are still married and still silly in love with each other. I don’t think what they did that day affected anyone else’s marriage. Good for President Obama to say something he said on his Senate questionnaire oh so many years ago.

And to me that is what it is. Marriage Equality. I have had too many friends unable to visit their loved ones in the hospital or have any say in their partner’s care because they aren’t a blood relative to the person. And in some cases that leave the person in the hospital totally alone because their family doesn’t want anything to do with them. The amount of legal documentation that has to be done so that their wills can’t be contested and they can have close to the rights that I got the moment Peter and I and the minister signed and filed a single piece of paper is absurd.

So on the line up of projects behind the gun. A set of Victorian Paper Dolls for a swap and a doll that is going to be passed around. Those I need to do this weekend along with double checking on Ariel’s room as she is moving in for Caroline’s stray toys. I think that is Friday. I also need to unearth Doctor #10 from the room of requirement.

Sherlock is back on my PBS stations. So review on that shortly.

I am grateful for such a lovely day before the leaf blowers start up.

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Posted By Kathleen David on May 9, 2012

This week I want to discuss Hall Costumes. Hall Costumes have become a thing in their own right. And some of the Hall Costumes out do the ones that come up on stage. DragonCon is a great place to catch all kinds of costumes you will only see in the halls or at various points where photo shoots have been organized.

A couple of things to think about

Can you walk around a crowded space in the costume? How much space are you taking up? Can you see so that you don’t trip over small children or not see obstacles in front of you? Do you take up an entire elevator to get your costume down to the floor? Are you going to knock over displays as you walk through the dealer’s room or if you have to turn around? (I have seen this happen). Is your costume going to ride up or down exposing parts of the body that aren’t allowed in public in that state? Can your costume take the friction of just walking around? How comfortable are your shoes/hooves/furry feet on various surfaces? How heavy are your props? Can you carry them around for a long period of time? Can you drink water in the costume? Can you eat? Can you go to the bathroom or do you have to go back to your hotel room for this? How does your costume look from all angles not just the front? Are you willing to look at photos of this costume for the rest of your life on the Internet?

Here are some of my solutions to some of the questions I have just asked in no particular order.

If you can’t see all around you, I strongly suggest that you get a friend to be your handler and help you navigate the convention. Someone to watch your back especially when you have wings or a large backpack is a good idea too. This protects both you and the other convention goers from possible harm or costume damage.

Walk around in your costume before you bring it to the convention. Consider if things are going to ride up or bunch up over the simple movement of walking. I watched a Power Girl’s costume go from PG to an R while she walked from the elevators to the escalator at DragonCon. There are several schools of thought on skimpy costumes (including no costume is not a costume). I really don’t care if you want to coplay Red Sonja with the chain mail bikini, however I really don’t want to see parts of your body that aren’t allowed by local laws (check those laws before going to the convention).

Skimpy costumes aside, is this costume going to last for the period of time that you are wearing it? I have seen plenty of costumes that look great in the AM but are pretty homely by the PM. Paint flaking. Pieces ripping. Wigs riding up and off. Shoes that were painted that now have parts that have returned to their original color.

I have seen a couple of people that had serious damage to their bodies from shoes that didn’t fit to hooves that caused them to strain a hamstring to a tendon snap when someone toppled off their high heels. Can you walk in your footwear? Can you walk in your footwear comfortably? Can you walk in your footwear comfortably for an extended period of time without damaging your feet or legs or back? Last year I did a X-men First Class uniform. I had a pair of black hiking boots that I had used for other costumes over the years. They have always been a bit small. I wore them for close to 12 hours and my feet seriously cramped up in them by the end. I knew going in that they weren’t perfect but I also knew I could deal with the consequences of wearing them for long periods of time. Which is why I had a slight limp at DragonCon after Friday Night.

Hydration at a convention is hard enough when you are wearing just normal clothing and walking around. In a costume it can be harder. Before going to a convention make sure you have what you need to hydrate be that a straw or a hydropack. Don’t assume that you are going to be able to find a straw. I learned that one the hard way a number of years back. You are responsible for your health in that costume. Can you eat?

Going to the bathroom in a costume can be an adventure in itself. Much more so for women than men but still both genders have to think about that basic function. I have had costumes where to go to the bathroom I had to almost strip the whole thing off. Ariel was so grateful the first time I made her a costume that she could go to the bathroom in without taking off the whole costume. I plan for it now. Fitting into the stall can be a whole other issue. There are some costumers that wait for the handicap stall because that’s the only space they can fit into. The X-men First Class Costume was not too much of a problem but I did have to take off the jacket and the harness to get to the suspenders that were holding up my pants. Years ago I had a friend who couldn’t go to the bathroom because to make the costume look right, he had to be sewn into it. He held out as long as he could but eventually he had to get cut out of the costume so he could relieve himself.

Dealers rooms are a bit tricky to navigate any way. Trying to go through in a large costume is a whole new tricky. Wings make you wider and thicker than you think you are. Backpacks and props do the same thing. I watched a person coplaying Sora take out a spinner rack totally by accident with the Key Blade he had on his shoulder. The spinner rack was not in the aisle at all, he just tried to sneak through the crowd and cut a corner too sharp. Be aware of where you are in space and where your props are. It might behoove you not to go into the dealer’s room in costume.

Photography is cool. Getting your picture taken is a lot of fun for everyone except the people trying to get from point A to point B and there is an impromptu photo shoot in the middle of it. I don’t understand people who put on hall costumes and don’t want anyone to take pictures of them but there is a time and place for this. Last year the New York Comic Con set up a number of spaces to take picture in. They were accessible but not directly in the path of traffic. When allowing others to take your picture, consider where you are and what is going on around you. I try to pull out of the path of traffic and take the photo. If I have to walk a little further on, I do. Also figure out beforehand how you want your costume photographed. Pose a little to see what looks good and what looks goofy. Remember that the Internet is forever.

Hall Costuming is great fun but there is the added complication of the convention all around you.

I am grateful for all the cool Hall Costumes I have seen over the years.

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